Compendium
by Sorensen
Summary: A collection of SASUNARU fics & drabbles.
1. A Chance

Uzumaki Naruto said to me: "You gave your life for me once, now let me give mine for yours." That was the last thing Naruto ever said to me, or anyone. Shortly after that, Naruto expended all the chakra that he as well as the Kyuubi's had into one giant Rasengan. He gave everything he had into that one final attack, and despite finishing the battle there and then, Naruto died without even a scratch on him.

"Naruto gave his life to save me, and the rest of Konoha. At some point in each of our lives, Naruto changed each of us. For some of us, it was our entire outlook on life", Sasuke said looking at a few people in particular. He saw now Neiji and Gaara, both of who had drastically changed after knowing Naruto. "Or for others he taught to always expect the unexpected when he was around." It was now that Sasuke looked at Kakashi, who had managed to actually show up on time, as well as Tsunade and Jiraiya. If Naruto was ever surprising anyone, it was his teachers. "For much of his life, Naruto was hated and shunned by the people of this village because of something he could not control. But by the time he died, he proved to every single person that he was no demon, but that he was a hero, and he was worth recognition.

When the fourth hokage died, he wanted his son, the vessel of the kyuubi to be known as a hero. Well, Naruto was never truly recognized as he should have been in life, but he will forever be a hero to me and this village. And so let his grave bear only his name. Because his name alone will tell the story of his life." Sasuke finished, looking at the hundreds of people standing before him. Naruto had never known in his life just how many people's lives he had touched, but Sasuke saw it here and now.

These were the words Sasuke spoke at Naruto's funeral. After Naruto died, there was nothing more that he'd wanted then to die as well. Naruto had changed him, taught him, and become his reason for living. Sasuke knew that there was nothing worse he could do then to die, for Naruto died so that Sasuke and others could live, but Sasuke was slowly dying inside anyway. Who was Sasuke without Naruto to annoy? Sasuke couldn't stand the look of pity in people's eyes. He couldn't stand the whispers of how odd it was to see the always stoic ninja without Naruto at his side. At night the silence drove him crazy, where was Naruto to be babbling about something or another that had happened that day?

Sasuke couldn't recall a single memory that didn't have Naruto in it, laughing and calling Sasuke "Teme" or sparring on the training fields. He didn't even want to train anymore, after all, what was the point? There was no Naruto to be better then, and Sasuke knew that as long as he lived, he could never be better then Naruto had in spirit. He hated that everywhere he turned he saw the ghost of Naruto and him from one moment or another.

If it wasn't for Naruto, Sasuke would never have even returned to Konoha. Sasuke was pretty sure that he wouldn't have survived the fight with Itachi if Naruto had been at the back of Sasuke's mind, taunting him that he was sure that he'd have been able to do it.

Those around Sasuke watched as the ninja they had once known became more and more a shell of a person everyday. Eventually it seemed that Sasuke was barely even still with them, and that he hadn't actually died with Naruto. Sakura knew that there was nothing she could say or do to bring Sasuke back from the brink – the only one who had ever been able to really get through to Sasuke had been Naruto, and it was Naruto that had left Sasuke behind like this to begin with.

It didn't really surprise anyone when Sasuke died on a mission not that long after. Some people shook their heads and blamed Naruto, but those who really knew Sasuke just smiled. Sasuke never was one to let Naruto beat him in anything afterall, and it seemed to be that way even in death. Sakura swore she could hear Naruto taunting Sasuke about "being so weak that you couldn't even handle life without me." and Sasuke's reply of "it's just too easy without you around to annoy."


	2. All I Ask

Disclaimer: Naruto is not mine.

As you pass through life, you have hopes, dreams and aspirations. During your life, these change from childhood fantasies, to the goals you strive to achieve in your lifetime. When I was a child, my dream was to be recognized by Konoha, and the people around me. My wish was to become the Hokage and teach the world that even a demon incarnation could bring peace. I was a loud obnoxious brat always trying to draw attention to myself, everything about me from my bright yellow hair to my orange jump suit screamed for you to look at me. When I "grew up", I only had one dream. That was to just be wherever Sasuke was.

_**Sasuke**_  
Honestly, back then I had no idea what I was thinking. When the Hyuuga's brought up the arrangement, I went along with it, accepting it with mild notice as I did everything else in my life. I knew I loved Naruto; I had since the day we first kissed. Nevertheless, I hoped that if I ignored how I felt for him, it would go away. Moreover, I would never know how wrong I was until it was nearly too late. I will never forget the moment when I was told Naruto was gone.

"Sasuke!" Sakura yelled, panting. "I've been looking for you all over the village!"

"What?" I asked, with mild tolerance. Sakura had gotten over her silly infatuation with me, but in my mind, she would always be the girl who would just not leave me alone.

"Naruto is-"

"I don't care about that Dobe." I spoke instantly. Hearing about Naruto made me think of him, something I tried avoiding at all costs. If I could forget about him, I would not have to remember that I was the idiot who ruined everything. I had caused our relationship to end because I was too stupid and self-centered to care about how Naruto felt.

"But he's-"

"I said, I don't-"

"Sasuke, for once in your life, I'm going to say this to you. SHUT UP! Sasuke, Naruto is gone."

"And? He is probably just on a mission. In case you forgot, he is a jounin."

"He is not on a mission Sasuke. He is GONE. As in, like you were for all those years. Tsunade-sama came up to me and explained that Naruto is going to be living in the Sand village."

"What are you talking about? Of course he isn't gone. Why would he just up and leave?"

"Maybe because the one person who kept him here is betraying him."

"What? How-"

"Sasuke, you idiot. I was around you two everyday for 3 years. It might have taken me awhile to realize I wasn't in love with you but even a blind man could tell you two loved each other."

"I'm not betraying him, because I don't love him."

"You are such an idiot. Do you think that by denying your feelings they will just go away? It doesn't work like that Sasuke! I've never even seen two people as meant to be as you two!"

"How? How can you tell?"

"Sasuke, even when Naruto and you were rivals, you died saving him from Haku. Moreover, yes, you did die. However, I will never forget the terrifying feeling I felt that day coming from Naruto. If there was ever a day the Kyuubi nearly came unsealed, it was then. Even when the seal came nearly undone times after that, it was never filled with so much rage and hatred. When you nearly betrayed us all, Naruto brought you back. I asked him to bring you back, but for him it was just an excuse to give people. Nobody else could have said anything to you that mattered, and many would have said Naruto was the last person who could. Nevertheless, Naruto went. And he brought you back."

"Even if I did love Naruto, and he did love me, how could he still love me after everything?"

"How could you love him? Because you both know that marrying Hinata would be the biggest mistake of your life. Because you and Naruto were not meant to be friends. How would you react if Naruto was going to get married to one of your friends?"

"I would want to kill him. Because even though I should just be happy for Naruto, I'd feel like he was..."

"Betraying you? Exactly."

"You're right. Naruto stopped me from betraying everyone once and here I am betraying him again. But I will find him, and if I'm lucky then maybe he will give me a third chance. Arigatou Sakura. You may not have been able to stop me once, but this time you stopped me from making an even bigger mistake."

"Just go talk to him."

"But last time I tried-"

"Sasuke, sometimes like you- Naruto needs a little sense beat into him. He has gone through a lot. Four years of pain, you put him through; did you really expect him to accept you with wide-open arms after what you said to him? He forgives though Sasuke, maybe more then he should. Go - go and talk to him."

"Hai..."

However, with Naruto, things are always easier said then done when didn't want to be found. I went from village to village, place to place only to find that I'd get there just as Naruto had left. Naruto was supposed to be in the Sand Village, but when I went, Gaara said that he hadn't arrived yet. But what could I really expect? For the last four years, Naruto had already become an expert at avoiding me. When we were 15, Naruto told me that he was in love with me. My reaction was... probably the last thing you'd ever want to hear, and everything you'd expect from the heartless Uchiha Sasuke.

At the time we'd gotten over our stupid rivalry, we were best friends. It was the first time in my life that I'd been truly happy and relaxed. With Itachi already dead, I was given a chance to live life again from the start, without the ever-increasing need for power. Orochimaru for the time being was silent. Nobody had seen or heard from the Sound Village for nearly 2 years. An idea that both relaxed and unsettled little village.

I'm still not sure why he chose to tell me when he did. There was nothing special about the moment or the place we were in. All I know was that one moment we were sitting on my roof, and the next he'd spilled his most well guarded secret to me. I remember hoping; maybe praying that he hadn't really said it aloud. And that if I had, maybe I hadn't heard him right. Unfortunately, I was wrong on both accounts.

Neither of us said anything for a few minutes.

"I don't love you Naruto. I couldn't love you. I'm in -"

"Just don't say it Sasuke. Just go...please."

And because I'm an idiot. I did.

I don't really know what was going through my mind. It was right then that I started to realize how I felt for him. It was also when I was in the most denial. So when Naruto told me how he felt, I rejected it with every fiber in my being. I was even going to tell him I was in love with Sakura if it meant he'd take back his words.

So for the next four years I barely saw Naruto. He went on long missions, and the few times I did see him, I could see that he'd changed drastically. But that didn't matter to my heart apparently, because every time I saw him it would flutter.

It was then that the Hyuuga's told me of the arrangements that my parents had made with them before their deaths. Something about future bloodlines. As I said before, I accepted it, resigned to my fate. I was still trying to push away the feelings I had. I should have realized that if four years of separation didn't make me stop loving him, marriage probably wouldn't either.

And now here I am. Chasing after a boy who's running away from me. I can't give up though. I won't. Even if Naruto refuses to accept me, he has to know the truth. Has to hear me tell him that I love him.

It was the most ruthless trick I'd ever had to pull on someone, but I was desperate. For two years, I'd been chasing Naruto and now even I was getting weary. By now, we were 21, and because I was the biggest idiot of our lives, I wasted 5 years of our life in suffering.

I had to make the arrangements with Sakura. She was going to find a way to contact Naruto and tell him that Tsunade wanted him to return to Konoha. This really wasn't a complete lie; Tsunade had been bothering me more frequently as the days went on of my status with finding him.

He returned, as ordered. And it was when he went to report to Tsunade and found me at her desk instead of Tsunade that he realized he'd been tricked.

"Why." Was all he said. 6 years and all he said to me was why. Though to be technical, it was probably a valid question.

"Because chasing after you obviously wasn't working."

"Why chase me Sasuke? Why taunt me with thoughts that probably aren't true? Is this all some sick joke to you? I'm not a toy Sasuke. You can't just throw me aside and pick me back up when it's convenient."

"You were the one who avoided me! Kami Naruto, you never even gave me a chance! One minute we're just sitting there, the next your telling me you love me!"

"Yes Sasuke, I told you I loved you. Why was that so hard for you to accept? I never asked you to love me back. I just needed you to know."

"Because that meant that we both felt the same way for each other. It meant that you could obviously accept something I couldn't at the time - love. In my mind, I was fighting with denial that you would ever feel for me as I did for you. It was a denial that changed and morphed into one that made me scared to even be in love with you."

"Why."

"The only people I ever loved in my life died. The last thing I ever wanted was to lose you. And if that meant I had to deny my feelings to you, then I would."

"Wasn't that my choice to make? A few years happy - a few days happy - anything would have been better to what you put me through."

"I just couldn't let it happen."

"You still haven't told me why you were chasing me. Why didn't you marry Hinata, Sasuke? When I left you seemed perfectly ok with it."

"Because I love you."

"Why should I believe you? I have no reason at all to believe that you aren't doing this just because you want to hurt me."

"No, you don't. But if you still love me too, then I know your heart is asking you too. You always followed your heart before."

"And look where it got me!"

"I can't tell you why you should trust me then. I can just ask you to have faith in me. If you want, I'll spend the next 10 years of my life trying to prove it to you."

Naruto sighed, and there was an emotion in his eyes that confused me. I couldn't tell how he felt about anything anymore. But his next words told me everything I needed to know anyway.

"We've already wasted enough years. I don't know if I love you anymore Sasuke, I went through hell because of you. But I'm willing to give it a chance."

"And that's all I want."

FIN


	3. Almost Love

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, and I don't own the song - "The Love is Gone" Paul Williams and the Muppets - yes - the Muppets from their A Muppet Christmas Carol soundtrack do. (Hey, at least I'm original in picking my song out, ne?)

_There was a time when I was sure  
That you and I were truly one_

I sat here looking through photo albums for what must have been hours. In some of them we looked so happy. Moments that I'll never forget, and that I'll never want too. I was the first person to ever truly make you smile, and that is something nobody else can claim.  
_  
That our future was forever  
And would never come undone_

And so I slip it into my bag, looking around. Our house was well lived in - a little of you, and a little of me. But you tried to hide that fact. You didn't want people to know about us. The one true good thing to ever happen in my life.  
_  
And we came so close to being close  
And though you cared for me_

I know you loved me once Sasuke... maybe you even still do. But now... I can't take it anymore. The denial. Your fears. My greatest ambition above all is to be accepted, and yet the person who means the most to me in the world can't even accept my love for what it is. We could've been happy. But that future is gone now.

_There's distance in your eyes tonight  
So we're not meant to be_

I see you when you come home from your latest mission. And although your eyes widen slightly at seeing my stuff gone, I know you're not surprised. You saw this coming too. We may not have wanted it to end this way, but it has too. I can't survive being hidden anymore.

_The love is gone  
The love is gone_

You have a clan to revive, and a brother to kill. I tried too much to change you. To get you accept this life... but I couldn't. And now I have to accept that you just -can't- love me. And I can't love the dark.

_The sweetest dream  
That you have ever known_

I was happy for a little while. Glad to just be around you. Be the person you returned home to every night. But then I woke up. Then I learned that this was the life I was going to live. I was born to stand out, and the darkness is killing me slowly and swiftly.

_  
The love is gone  
The love is gone _

I need to live my life again Sasuke. I see your head bow a little in acceptance. And while I must leave... I want you to be happy. I'll always love you, and even though I won't be with you in the physical, I know I'll always have a little piece of your heart. And maybe now that's all I need.

_I wish you well  
But I must leave you now alone_

I hope your dreams come true one day. I'm just sorry I can't be there with you when they happen. But you don't need me anymore. Now that you've learned how to live, how to risk, and how to love, you can make it without me.

_There comes a moment in your life  
Like a window and you see_

And so with a final chance, I look around once more. Picturing life as it could have been. As I wish it would be. But you can never see what the future holds for you, though you could glimpses of what could be.  
_  
Your future there before you  
And how perfect life can be_

Training against each other. Being there for me when the world gets just a little too harsh. A little too cold. But then you'd be there to tell me everything will be ok. You'd trace my "whiskers" and then give me a soft kiss on the lips.

_But adventure calls with unknown voices  
Pulling you away_

But now as I watch you a year later, I know you hear him calling. Your brother, pulling you away from this village, these people, me, and to your lust for power and need for his death. To your last chance to revive your clan with Sakura. I know you wish it could be different, as I know I wish it was.  
_  
Be careful or you may regret  
The choice you make someday_

Sakura is beautiful as she walks down the aisle. A small smile on her face. I can see Lee, he looks devastated but he's trying to put up a strong front - so much like me. You don't want this I know.

_It was almost love  
It was almost always_

I see your eyes flicker over to mine. But with all your walls Sasuke I can still see through them. And I just shake my head slowly side to side. It was not meant to be. Maybe in another life, one where we get a second chance. But for now we must give it up.

_It was like a fairytale we'd live out  
You and I_

The eternal rivals, egging each other on to the finish, and then we'd stop and realize what idiots we'd been and "kiss and make up." But that was our past, and this is now. I can only hope for a future that plays out differently. I know I won't be truly happy, nor will you. But we'll manage, and we'll survive as star-crossed lovers always have.  
_  
And yes some dream come true  
And yes some dreams fall through_

You will avenge your family Sasuke. And I will become Hokage. We will make hopes and dreams come true, even if they aren't our own. Sometimes the greatest sacrifices are needed before the future can unravel. I'm sorry we had to be the ones to make it.

_And yes the time has come for us to say goodbye  
Yes some dreams come true_

And this is the end for us. Your wedding to Sakura, and my acceptance of the missing-nin's offer of being captain. It's one step closer for both of us. And it'll save me from having to watch you, because though I'll act happy as I ever have, it'll be a mask coming into play again. But our dreams will come true. All of them in the end.  
_  
Yes some dreams fall through  
And yes the time has come for us to say goodbye_

"Ja ne." I whisper as Tsunade-sama pronounces you husband and wife. I can only smile as you take a final step away from me, because I can only think of how that step is also one step closer to the future when we can be together again.


	4. Can I Kill You

_A/N: The first word play (and probably my favorite) to enter in the archive. Fixed some spacing and removed the annoyingly long author's note.___

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

So you did it. You betrayed everyone. You betrayed me. You tried to kill me. It all feels so very surreal. None of this should have ever happened. I almost wish I could go back to the time when we were all in the academy and I was alone. Maybe then the pain wouldn't feel so bad. Would I rather have this feeling of complete betrayal and anger at you or what I had when I was younger, of hatred and envy?

I really don't know. Actually...that's a lie. I know that even as I wonder I could never give up the happy moments that we had. Missions that went well and the belief that maybe we would all succeed. I promised Sakura I would bring you back, and I failed her. But more then failing her, did I betray myself? But even in betraying myself, I know that it was you who I betrayed most. I failed to keep you from making the greatest mistake you can ever make. There is no going back on this Sasuke, no "Oops, I'm sorry!"

After you avenge your clan, what will you do? If we meet up again in the future before you defeat Itachi, what will you do? But worst of all... you are a missing nin Sasuke. If we meet up in the future, it will be my job to either capture you and kill you, or die fighting. But could I really kill you, Uchiha Sasuke who I have felt more emotion for then any other?

Could I?

That was what I wondered four years ago when I was twelve and still a genin rookie of Konoha. Even as I looked at the words I once wrote, scribbled on the back of a paper, I wondered. At 16 I have the achieved the rank of ANBU Captain. A position I have held for the last year and a half, a position I always expected you to hold, one that many people in your family once held. I truly wonder what you would do if one day I came upon Itachi. As Itachi is a part of the Atasuki, it is also my mission to kill him.

And yet as I stare into the crimson eyes that you have now, I still wonder if I can kill you. I know that physically in a fight, I could destroy you. I could now place a seal on you, no different then the kyuubi's and render you nearly helpless. I could trap you within your own mind and leave you as a soulless shell for eternity if I desired. So I ask myself one last time.

Can I kill you?


	5. Can't Be Your Friend

_A/N: Another one-shot, songfic._

Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto, me no own the song I can't be your friend.

Reincarnated over and over again I follow you. The ever-returning link between us is just pulling me along. But you don't notice, don't see the tie of life we have. You die and I die. You remember nothing. Not the training, or Orochimaru, or even just Team 7. The names Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke are naught but names in history books that you share. Maybe one was a hero you admired, maybe at most you felt a bit of deja vu.

I wonder if I'll always just continue this. Watching a movie with no rewind or stop until the end of time. I would wish for scissors to cut this line that ties us but it's all I have left of you. The one constant in these lives of ours. I struggle and cling to it sometimes, hoping that maybe if I tug hard enough, you'll notice. I wonder what people would think of the real Uchiha Sasuke. My one true weakness... you.

Day by week, week by month, month to year, and year to life it continues. The pain just keeps growing - I miss you my kitsune. And you - oblivious to it all. If only I had the strength to tell you - even show you who I am. But no... instead I remain your enemy and rival, if I'm lucky enough. I understand you now. Why you struggled so hard and for so long to make people acknowledge your resistance. But I don't care about the rest of the word; I just want one person to see me. You.

"Sasuke... Sasu-ke. Sasssssssukee..." I was suddenly knocked out of my reverie to see the objection of my affection trying desperately for my attention.

"Ahh gomen nasai Naruto-kun. I must have been daydreaming." Did I mention the worst part is that this time Naruto and I are best friends? Now I see him constantly and yet I can never have him. It's worse than the lifetimes when I struggle to find you only to find another gravestone. But I can't do it anymore.

_This might come as quite a shock_

"Naruto... we need to talk." I said. It was the last thing I wanted to do. But I just couldn't take it.

_But I've given it a lot of thought _

Too many lifetimes alone and scared my Kitsune. It's time to put this all to a stop. Why live this life if I'm not going to be with you anyway? Why live when the whole point of it is just for us to be together and we can't?

_This thing that's come between us can't be ignored _

I'm sorry Naruto... but I love you.

_I've taken all I can _

I can't suffer anymore. Can't live without you. Your happiness alone can't sustain me now. For so many lives I tried to just be happy with your happiness. But all things must come to an end.

_This is where its gotta end cuz I can't be your friend anymore _

"About that English project right? Yeah Mrs. Schmoogle is such a pain-"

"No, Naruto... I.. I. . can't be your friend anymore." I said. Or tried to say. It came out rather choked and it was killing me to say. It took everything I had not to run home and just ignore the feelings. Me. Uchiha Sasuke. I'm supposed to be the unemotional one.

_And I can't be accused of not being there for you_

"**WHAT? **Your kidding right? Sasuke please tell me you're joking... please... don't leave me alone." I saw the emotions cross your eyes. Disbelief. Reluctance... fear. I hated it. Those eyes were filled with betrayal, the eyes of the Naruto I knew originally. I'd do anything to keep the emotions in those eyes from ever afflicting you.

_How many nights have you shown up at my door?_

"Sasuke you can't leave me... I need you. Who will I eat lunch with? Who will bandage me up after Sakura beats on me for so much as teasing you?"

_I hope you understand, this wasn't in my plans_

"I'm sorry... I never wanted - never planned to do this... ever."

_But I can't be your friend anymore_

"Then why? Why Sasuke..."

The emotions in your voice were killing me. And I was terrified to look you in the eye. I'm as bad as... every one of those villagers all rolled into one. No... worse. Because I gave you hope then stole it away, all because I can't be brave anymore... "I'm so sorry Naruto..."

_And it's killin me to know you without havin a chance to hold you_

"If your so sorry, then tell me why Sasuke. Give me one good reason why you're doing this to us. Because I can see it isn't making you happy either. And if it's about the kitsu-"

"NO! No... I would never do that to you..."

"Then why?" You ask. Your voice isn't loud, but soft, and quiet. Like you always are when your thinking, or tired, or... upset.

_And all I wanna do is show you how I really feel inside_

"Because... I love you Naruto. And I always have. And it seems fate's made it so I always will."

_You can run to me, you can laugh at me, or you can walk right out that door_

"You... love me?"

"...Hai..."

_But I can't be your friend anymore_

"And that's why you're doing this to us? Why we can no longer be friends?"

_So baby now its up to you_

"…Yes." Why can't you just accept this Naruto? You weren't supposed to be the calm one. I was. You're the loud and annoying one where I'm the quiet and calm one. Have these lifetimes really changed me that much? Broken my walls down, one by one?

_Do I win or do I lose?_

"Oh."

_Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor?_

"Oh?" I said. 'Oh?' "That's all you have to say?"

_Well take me as I am cuz I wanna be your man_

"Well Sasuke..."

_But I can't be your friend anymore_

"I can't be your friend anymore then either."

"What? You're not supposed to say that. Haven't we gone over this? You're supposed to yell and scream and call me a baka, and then I insult you back and we live life hating each other as I watch you miserably, and you continue on without me.'

_And it's killin me to know you without havin a chance to hold you_

"Because Sasuke well..."

_And all I wanna do is show you how I really feel inside_

"I think... no... I know that.."

_You can run to me, you can laugh at me, or you can walk right out that door_

"I can't let you go. Maybe you can... but... I need you. So if we can't be just friends anymore then... ok, because..."

_But I can't be just friends anymore_

"Sasuke-kun..."

_We can't be just friends anymore_

"I love you too."

And it's enough for me, for now. For now, the fact that you love me too will carry me on. It's more then I could've hoped for, more then I ever thought I would get. But I'm hoping that one day you'll remember me too. One day, maybe you'll wake up just like I do in every life of ours and know exactly who I am. For now though, I can be truly happy for the first time in hundreds of years.


	6. Coming Home

Disclaimer: Don't own.

The hardest thing in life isn't to be alone, but to be alone and be able to remember the times when you weren't. I live that life. Day in and day out was all one big play, with I as its famous actor. Acting like an idiot, the loud mouthed dobe. Just to get a reaction from him. Even if I was being insulted, I was being looked at, spoken to, and thought of by him. I was the only one who could get those reactions from him.

In a world, in a time, and in a place where I don't belong. Now I am known as Tejina "Naruto" Kyuubi. But once, once I was Uzumaki Naruto, and how I wish I was still he and simutaneously wish I wasn't never was him. Either. Both sometimes. Anything but this life that I "live" now. I live in Konoha, a ninja village under the 12th Hokage.

But I remember the third Hokage. The stories of the fourth. The fifth. But it's the fact that I can remember them that's the problem. Well, I suppose the real problem is that I'm in love. No, no, that is NOT a good thing, so don't get the wrong idea.

You see I love Uchiha Sasuke. The great news is he loved me back. But there's that one little keyword the ruins my life everyday. "Loved." The bad news is that like Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke died 100 years ago. Uchiha Sasuke killed himself shortly after I died - rather, Uzumaki Naruto died. I, unfortunately, was graciously reincarnated, and given all my memories of my previous life, to live as if I had simply never died. I lived in the house where we used to. Sometimes I would lay awake at night and find myself listening for him to come back from his latest mission, waiting for him to come home again, which he is never going to do.

Sasuke was reincarnated too; I guess he really was right about that red string of fate. I bet you're thinking it's great he was reincarnated, you can just continue where you left off - well, you'd be wrong. Unlike me, he remembers nothing. The names Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke are nothing more to him then two tragic deaths in the history of Konoha. Two of my teachers, Iruka and Hatake Kakashi are back as well. Course, Iruka doesn't recognize me, and I haven't seen Kakashi yet to know if he does. Maybe I'll be lucky and find that fate decided to torture the half of every couple that died first.

So here I am, surrounded by people I remember, but will likely never remember me. There's Sakura - who I think doesn't hate me as much as she did at first in our last lives, but I'm also not wasting half of this one with a puppy love crush on her. Ino, Shikamaru, Hinata, and Kiba, all seem to be back as well. Maybe they'll all get together with each other again.

At least this time I'm not bad in school, but I suppose the nineteen years of training in my previous life and remembering it has helped a little. I'm not the best one, the easier jutsus always were harder for me, but I'm not the dobe anymore. We'll be splitting into groups very soon. It's odd now that we have to stay in training longer. We're 16 this time around.

"Ino, Shikamaru, Choji."

'Kuso! I should be paying attention! But I guess group 9 is together again after all.' I thought, smiling.

Shikamaru and Ino really do have that chance of getting together again. I wondered if Lee is around for Sakura. They'd been a strange couple, and Sakura had fought it for over half of her life, but eventually she'd relented and finally let Lee take her out on a date.

"Sakura, Sasuke, Kyuubi."

"Naruto." I corrected automatically. I hate being called Kyuubi. Fate must really have something against me. The nine-tails was no longer sealed within me, but you'd never know the difference. I still have the same scars along my cheeks, and the seal on my stomach. The only thing that seems to have changed is the fact that the nine-tail's chakra seems to have combined with my own.

Wait, did Iruka just pair me together with Sasuke and Sakura again? But that would make no sense. Sasuke's the best fighter, Sakura's the smartest, and I have the most chakra and control over it this time around. Team's are supposed to be built evenly, and the three of us compromise the top of three area's.

There hasn't been a day when I haven't wondered why it is that something saw fit to kill all of us and bring us back later. Sometimes it feels like I'm just living a rerun. Or maybe Iruka isn't as clueless as I thought. But it can't be - Kakashi is my sensei again. Of course, he was late. When he finally did show up even though there was only the three of us left, he decided to do attendance. Kakashi always was a bit odd.

"Masayume Sakura?"

"Hai"

"Musou Sasuke?"

"Hn."

"Tsukino Naruto?"

"It's Nar- er, Hai?"

'That's interesting. How'd he know I like to be called Naruto?' I looked at him in confusion and he just looked over and winked. 'Oh boy does he have some explaining to do later!'

"Today will be introduction. Tomorrow, training begins. Naruto, you're going first."

"Hai. My name is Kyuubi though I hate being called that and prefer to be called Naruto. I hate people who judge others without knowing them for themselves. I like when things go right, and my dreams are - 'To be with Sasuke again.' But of course, I didn't say that aloud. "To one day be the thirteenth Hokage." Which got me another wink from Kakashi.

"Sasuke. Your turn."

"Hn. Sasuke. I dislike loud mouthed bakas. I like...little. My dreams are to someday fulfill them."

Well, least he wasn't talking about killing his brother this time. Course, he did just insult me but that was perfectly fine. I missed our fights. If you go years fighting with a person, you can't just stop doing it. At least while he's yelling and insulting me he's showing someone an emotion.

Sakura's introduction was nearly the exact same as before, minus the insults to myself. That girl needs to learn that has her own man, even if she hasn't met him yet, so she can't have mine! Kakashi said as little as he did the first time. I do miss Sakura in a way though, after her and Lee got together things weren't as violent between us as they had been. But it'll be a long time at least before she even begins to remember me, if she does.

Overall, things went much as they used to for the next few months. I found out Kakashi did remember everything as I wondered if he did. It came in handy because he would often pair Sasuke and Sakura together and having me work with him. Working with him I actually got a chance to learn and improve again, Sasuke was still my favorite person to spar with, but he didn't have the advantage of remembering a lifetime of training like I did. On a few days when Kakashi saw that Sakura's attempts to get Sasuke were not only annoying Sasuke but also distracting me to the point where I wasn't learning anyway, Sasuke and I'd be together.

The worst day of my life was when Sasuke agreed to go on a date with Sakura. When Sakura was raving to me like she did on a few occasions, I felt horrible and betrayed. Like Sasuke was cheating on me. And then I would be mad at myself because I no longer had any rights over Sasuke. In this incarnation, Sasuke isn't mine. He's not even the same Sasuke anymore.

Most people probably wouldn't notice the differences, but I do. On some levels, he's very different. He's still an orphan and alone, but Itachi never existed. His parents had been killed on a mission together. He's not as bitter, and no longer filled with vengeance. He reminds me more of the Sasuke I knew after he killed Itachi. After we were together. Which is why I find myself here, on top of the Hokage monument, wondering why I'm even here, why it is I remember everything and Sasuke nothing. Why even though Sasuke sacrificed himself to kill my murderer, we still couldn't be together. I don't want to be here anymore, constantly being reminded of the days before, when everyone hated me and I was alone. Alone as I am now.

I've been sitting here, remembering, thinking, feeling. I feel old and lonely. Even without being the kitsune, the villagers still seemed to know who I was. The looks, the name, it was all slightly more then a coincidence.

"Dobe. It's late you baka and we have a mission tomorrow."

"Sasuke? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be on your date with Sakura?"

"I was. But I left. It wasn't where I wanted to be. Where I needed to be. For some reason everything in me was screaming at me that I should be here. Apparently with you."

"Maybe your hearts trying to tell you something your mind forgot."

"What did you say?"

'Kuso! I said that aloud!'

"Nothing. It was nothing."

"No it wasn't. Naruto what did you say?"

"I told you, it was nothing."

"If it was nothing, then there should be no big deal about telling me."

"Fine. I said maybe your hearts trying to tell you something your mind forgot."

Sasuke shook his head, like he was trying to remember something but just couldn't.

"That sounds familiar. Hauntingly so, like someone said something like it to me before."

"Maybe someone did. Look Sasuke, like you said, it is getting late, and you should really go back to your date...and Sakura. Ja ne." I stood up to walk away when he called to me.

"Naruto, I'm not going back to Sakura."

"Why are you telling me?"

"…Because that same thing in me says you needed to know. I don't know. Ja dobe."

"Konbanwa Sasuke." I whispered as he walked in the other direction, back towards his house. But if he heard me, he didn't say anything.

He acted differently around me now. It was…unsettling, yet welcome. There were times when he would be a complete bastard, then there were others, like that night. On some occasions, for instance, he'd bite my head off for trying to talk to him, and when he looked hurt that I was working with Kakashi over him. The biggest shock though came from the middle of nowhere.

"Baka!"

"What? Pretty-boy Sasuke and all his followers upset over me being a little late?"

"You are such a dobe you baka! Kitsune, do the words M.I.S.S.I.O.N mean anything to you?"

"WHAT did you just call me?" I all but shouted.

"Dobe…baka."

"After those!"

"Kitsune."

Ok, that name would affect me. Sasuke always called me kitsune after we got together. He'd already found out who I was before that, and I guess he loved me just the same for it. But that name, and him saying it shook me up so much that for the whole mission I didn't talk to anyone - for two weeks. I was too shocked and surprised, I'd long given up that Sasuke would ever remember me, and then all of a sudden something from our past appears. Maybe Kakashi overheard because he never said anything, or he guessed the truth of where, or rather - when my mind was.

I think even if Sasuke didn't realize it, he was remembering the past - names, places, sayings, and actions. All parts of the Sasuke I knew from the past and they were merging with the Sasuke I knew today.

"Ano, Kakashi-sensei, do you think he remembers anything?" I asked one day while we were training.

"Maybe. Don't get your hopes up too high Naruto. Even if he does remember, he may not have all his memory like we do. And if he does, he might not accept it was what it is, and pass it off as a very strange dream. You and I do accept because we always had those memories. Imagine if suddenly all our memories of the past came to us now."

"How is it with Iruka-sensei?"

"It's...slow. Hard, because I'm not sure how to act sometimes. Like the cold person I was before, or how it was after. He's starting to remember me now though I think, and he has some memories of you from what I understand."

"Good...good."

"We can only hope Naruto."

"Hai, I know."

"Ano, Sensei, I'm going to go train with him now."

"Hai. Naruto, just remember that even if he does accept everything if he remembers, the rest of the village might not."

He wasn't implying the fact of who we were, but rather who we were together, and I knew it.

"I never cared about what they thought then, and I won't now." I replied walking over to join Sasuke. He'd been practising his jutsu control and was standing sideways on a tree when I walked over.

"Hey Sasuke."

"What're you doing? Shouldn't you be training with Kakashi-sensei?"

"Nah. I'm training with you today. Be prepared to have your ass kicked."

"Hn. Whatever Kitsune."

"Wait, wait. Sasuke why'd you call me Kitsune?"

I let the chance to call him on refering to me 'Kitsune' pass once because it startled me then. But this time, I wasn't going to let it.

"Because of a dream I had. It seemed so real, real like maybe it had happened. I don't know, it gave me the weirdest sense of deja vu."

"Like a memory?"

"Hai. But that's foolish. I've never called you Kitsune."

"No, it's not foolish. Never."

"Dobe, what in Kami's name are you saying?"

"Something I can never explain to you. You'll have to learn on your own." I said and then threw a kunai at him, stopping any further conversation.

It was actually months later that drew the final event. Things were getting rough for me. Loneliness had been seeping in by the second. Sitting on the edge of the monuments, I was wondering if there really was a point in living this life all over again. But once again, Sasuke seemed to find me, as he always had.

"Trying to leave me again Kitsune? Catch." He said, throwing something at me. I looked down to see red thread.

"Why?"

"If you kill yourself now, I'll be stuck following you all over again. You try arguing with fate to reincarnate you. I really don't want to waste all that time again when I finally understood what you meant back then."

"What, Nani?" I asked, completely confused. You would've thought it would be obvious to me, but for once I seemed as clueless as I used to be.

"When I died before, Fate wasn't going to send me after you. I begged, pleaded, and actually lost the argument. Then something seemed to change her mind, and she said that our thread was stronger then she expected. You were calling to me from the life you were living already, and she couldn't take your pain. Things went so fast however that she never got a chance to tell me I wouldn't remember anything unless I wanted to remember. Kakashi and you - you died first so every time you were reborn you were instinctively searching and hoping that Iruka and I would come along. So now that I remember, I want to tell you - I love you.

"Nani!"

"Gomen Naruto. A thousand times over, gomen. For everything. Not remembering, for taking so long to do so. It seems we've switched roles."

I sat there, shocked, not really believing this was happening. He must've spent the last few months remembering everything.

"Ano Sasu-chan, do you really remember everything?"

"Hai. It's true Kitsune, you can believe."

"Ar...Arigotou."

"Nani?"

"For finally coming home."


	7. Day and Night

_A/N: This is what I call a word play, refering to Naruto as day, Sasuke as night and etc._  
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

They are utter opposites.

One the day, the other night.

But even day and night work together.

Without night, day would not survive.

Without day, night would not be what it truly is.

Bright and loud is the day, dark and quiet is the night.

Each beautiful on their own, but nothing without the other.

The day brings life to the night, night bringing safety to the day.

Yellow and bright blue showing off it's colors, surprising everyone in the dawn.

Black and dark blue bringing it all to an end, finishing up the day's job.

In harmony only with each other.


	8. Dreaming of You

_A/N: Another songfic, this is rather angsty. No changes since when I did the last edit this fic doubled in length and I edited it then._

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto and 3 Doors Down own their sexy song. Which is by the way, I'm Here Without You.

_A hundred days had made me older  
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face_

Your funeral was a somber one. It was not small... no. Not for Uzumaki Naruto. The best ninja this world has ever seen. The strongest. Now, half a year later I'm still waiting for you to walk back through our door with that stupid fox smile of yours on your face. You won't though, but I can't seem to get my heart to accept that.

_A thousand lights had made me colder  
And I don't think I can look at this the same _

I'm chasing after him now Naruto. I know it's not what you would have wanted but I need to do this. For me, and for you. You didn't deserve to have your life ended so shortly. All you ever did was try to live it as best you could. Therefore, I'm chasing after him to get the vengeance I need to get for you. For my own peace of mind.

_But all the miles had separate  
They disappeared now when I'm dreaming of your face _

I don't even know how far I've traveled now. It's been months since I was last in Konoha. I couldn't bear it. Konoha and its memories of you. Every time I walked outside those faces were leering at me as your own was carved in beside your fathers. Every face I saw was a little sadder without you there to brighten us all. You were the Hokage that was loved by all.

_I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time_

I needed you Naruto. It was the constant of you in my life that kept me sane. And it's only the memories of you that are keeping me here today. Because at night I can relive our past - when you where still here beside me, telling me that it would be alright. It's those memories that keep me here, keep me living.

_I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me _

I know that every day I live now might be my last. Each minute of the day is unbearable as the minutes tick away slowly until when I can go to sleep and dream of you once more. A piece of my soul died with you, and I'm slowly withering away without it. And I don't think I want too.

_The miles just keep rolling as the people either way to say hello  
I hear this life is overrated but I hope it gets better as we go_

We had too much in front of us to go. You were going to be the best Hokage and maybe even bring our country some true peace for the first time since it began. The people believed in you, accepted you. There were so many dreams that you could've made come true, but now you'll never get the chance.

_I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time_

At least I know that if I die today that I will be with you tomorrow. That if I can resist the urge to just give up that in the end I'll be rewarded and be able to be with you again. Only the reminder that if I take my own life I'll be damned keeps me alive. So I hope day in and day out that for some reason I can breath my last breath. It's a morbid way of life, but it was your presence that gave me life and without it I might as well be dead.

_I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me _

During the long days of traveling after him I can almost forget it all just by closing my eyes. Close my eyes and see you standing here in front of me pushing me to go on all while saying that if anything happens to me you'll kill me for it. I can still remember your words, and as hilarious as they might seem, I know you meant every word of them. "If you die first I swear I'll haunt you for the rest of your afterlife."

_Everything I know, and anywhere I go  
It gets hard but it won't take away my love_

Not everybody accepted us. Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. But we didn't care then and I still don't. The best and worst ninja's. But what I don't think that they ever knew was that it was you that was the best, and me that was the worst. For you had that confidence in yourself that couldn't be defeated. And it never was.

_And when the last one falls, when it's all said and done  
it get hard but it won't take away my love _

He's finally dead Naruto. I've avenged you and my family. We both fought for so long and so hard. You defeated Orochimaru only to have my brother come and take you away from me. But now it's over. My goal in life when I first met you is complete.

_I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time_

Even now as my blood slowly drips to the ground I'm happy. There's nobody around to save me and there's nothing I can do but that's ok. Maybe now I can close my eyes and I won't be dreaming when I'm with you again. It's peace that I feel coming, and the first happiness that I've felt since you died overcomes me.

_I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams  
And tonight it's only you and me _

It's getting colder and darker around me. I can start to hear voices calling but I know they won't make it to me in time. And I don't have the strength or heart to call them to me to do so. Death is something I earned.

_I'm here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind  
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time_

I think it'll all be okay now Naruto. I'd laugh if I could right now. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. It's you. There's a scowl on your face, and I know it's because I let myself die. I just hope you keep your word about haunting me for the rest of my afterlife.

_I'm here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams  
But tonight it's only you and me _

I can hear you voice calling my name, and for one last time I close my eyes and dream of the moment I'd been waiting for forever.


	9. Everyone Wanted

_**Continued story from "Almost Love", but can be read alone.**_****

Naruto  
Four years after I left Konoha, I knew I couldn't avoid coming back any longer. It was really the last place I wanted to be, or rather, the people in it were the ones I wanted to avoid the most. But it was still my home, and still the village I served as a ninja.

I left the village those years ago on the day that Sasuke married Sakura to achieve his goals. Heartbroken, but resolved, I was the one who really pushed him into it. There will never be another person in my life who means as much to me as Sasuke does, that I know. I know that every time I see him that one way or another it'll still feel like a knife in the heart. But I was resolved then, and I am now that I can be happy with knowing that he is.

"It is good to have you back Baka."

"I thought it was time for me to return, I've been away long enough." I saw her small smile at the comment.

"Can you ever truly be away long enough for that sort of thing?" Tsunade said as she looked at me.

"No. It'll always be there. I will always wonder, always miss, envy and be saddened by." I replied honestly.

"Naruto, your work for the village over the last few years make you more then eligible to be a hunter-nin. You would often be away from the village, or you could work here as an ANBU."

"I think I've spent enough time hunting down ninja already. An ANBU would be perfect for me, it would keep me busy and anonymous enough for everyone."

"Good. You'll be working with Lee and Shikamaru then. You will be in charge of the major defenses here, report to Shikamaru soon for details. With Shikamaru's brains, Lee's determination, and your power, the village will be safe from many."

I just nodded before starting towards the door.

"Oh, and Naruto, you should know that your apartment is still among your possessions."

"Thank you."

"It was the least any of us could do."

Walking into my apartment was easy. Trying to avoid all the memories I had in it however, was the difficult part. Pictures of the former Team 7, of friends, some who were no longer even alive, and of Sasuke and I were all over. Unsurprisingly, it was the last that gave me the most difficulty. I was torn between wanting to remove all traces of the life I had been allowed to live for a short time, and wanting to leave everything just how it was. Eventually, I settled for removing everything except for one picture.

The memories in the picture were haunting. The picture had actually been taken by Hinata, who was one of the few people who knew of the true relationship between Sasuke and myself. Neither of us had ever even known the picture had been taken until long after it occurred. One day, after Sasuke and I had been training against each other, we had both been completely worn out. Both of us had fallen asleep where we'd fallen, but somehow our fingertips had ended up together. In the picture, my head was facing towards Sasuke, and his was towards mine. The picture was simple, but for the two of us it had meant a lot. Neither of us really dared to keep many pictures of us "together" fearing that someone would find out. However, this picture had seemed too intimate to not keep, and it is the only one I couldn't bear to remove from it's place on my nightstand.

My meeting with Shikamaru went by quickly. Shikamaru and I had both always had some sort of understanding neither of us really understood. Shikamaru had once blamed it on the fact that it was too bothersome to find another friend, and I had never refused a friendship. Shikamaru was one of the first people outside of Team Seven to accept me for who I was. Knowing Shikamaru the reasoning behind this was that he was too lazy to believe what others told him about me. However, my understanding with Lee was completely different. Somehow, Lee had figured out that Sakura hadn't been my cause for leaving the village. Maybe for someone who had just been destroyed, someone else in the same situation was easy to see. Either way, we had a sort of companionship because we had both given up the person we'd loved for their happiness.

Sakura had been dating Lee at one time, but he knew, or thought it was because Sakura had finally given up hope on Sasuke. When Sasuke had first started to show the world he was ready to get married, Lee had broken up with her. He'd known that Sasuke would choose Sakura, and the Sakura still loved Sasuke. But he'd also known that Sakura wouldn't break up with him, fearing doing exactly what she did anyway. So for her sake, he'd given up the reason for why the world revolved. I can truly say that Lee never seemed the same person again. He still had a never-ending dedication to his work, but now it seemed more out of duty then with the passion he had once lived with.

-------------------------------------  
**Sasuke**

My life wasn't miserable, it wasn't great or pleasing or one that I really wanted to live for the rest of my life. When I was 15, the life I was living now was exactly what I had been determined to have. My clan had been avenged, and I had the opportunity to continue my clan. But what I hadn't known when I was 15, that I would also have to give up the only person I had loved in my life to do it.

When I had let Naruto literally walk out of my life, I think that a part of it ended. Gone were the happy times and the person who I could just be myself with. The only person who I didn't have to wear a mask for because, he could see through it. Naruto is the only person who ever could truly judge my mood just my looking at me, and the only one I ever bothered to listen to.

At 23, I had the life many dreamed of. And I hated every minute of it.

When I first heard his name being spoken, I passed it off. Naruto had influenced a lot of people in his life, and many more had come to respect the Kitsune. I couldn't and wouldn't ever believe that Naruto had returned until I saw it with my own eyes. I had chased him away, I had pushed him away.

It was the greatest mistake I had ever made in my life, and every moment and with every breath I took, I knew it. I had hidden him, Naruto who was the brightest of all. If I had truly loved him, I wouldn't have been afraid, wouldn't have cared that my line would end with me. But maybe, that was what was meant to be.

Why I never listened to him when I should've, and why I didn't argue with him when I did is something I regret. If Naruto was back, I don't know what would happen honestly. Could I truly continue to live this charade that I was happy in my life? Even if I couldn't, Naruto had probably moved on. He is so easy to love, it would be understandable for there to be someone else in his life.

I was sitting down to eat when she finally brought it up to me. We both knew this life we lived was a sham. There was no love or caring between us like there should have been, just a dull commitment and regret.

"Sasuke... you know that Naruto is back." Sakura said, carefully watching every expression I made. By now, Sakura knew the relationship that had taken place between Naruto and I. One day, going through my things she had found the picture. The picture of us after training that I hadn't been able to bear hiding away with the rest of them. After finding that she went through more of my things, finding the pictures and items that had been Naruto's. Stuff that without spending large amounts of time in this house would never needed have been here.

She asked me about it later. I'll never forget that moment.

"You two. How could I have been so blind as to not see it? How could we all have been so blind as to not see it?" She asked as I'd walked in the door after returning from a mission.

"Who? What?" I asked, confused but wondering if she was asking what I thought she was.

"Naruto and you. You were together and that's why he left when we got married. It wasn't because of me like other people tried to believe, but because he couldn't stay, could he?" She said, looking me straight in the eyes.

I'd gotten ready to speak, to lie, to tell Sakura anything but what had actually happened, but she cut me off.

"Sasuke, don't lie to me. Just tell me the truth."

"Yes. We were together. I was the idiot who pushed him away, so he left me. I denied that I loved him to everyone who asked, and I never let anyone see us together. So one day a few months before we married, and a year exactly before I killed Itachi, he packed up and left."

I watched her look at me like I was a fool, and I knew it was true. I saw recognition and understanding pass through her eyes before she asked me one more question, and after that we never spoke of it again.

"When he comes back, if you could would you go back to him again?"

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?" Sakura asked me with a sigh, and I couldn't help but wonder if that was hope I also heard in her voice.

"I don't know. It depends on him, what he'll say and do. You know Naruto, even if I do tell him that I..." I trailed off looking at her.

"Say it Sasuke. We both know that this marriage is a sham and that we're in love and it isn't with each other. This is just one reason, one excuse for us to break this whole thing off."

I sighed. I know she's right, but it doesn't change that what she's saying still feels almost wrong. But then I can't help but think though that maybe it's more wrong to live this lie we lead.

"Even if I do tell him that I was stupid, that I would give anything for another chance with him he might not listen."

"You're right. So you'll just have to make him." She said with a grin at me. I knew then that everything just might be okay.

As I stood up to go see if the rumors were true and if I had a lot of explaining to do, I had to ask her one thing.

"You're going to talk to Lee right? Tell him... tell Lee I said I'm sorry." I said, refusing to look at her in shame of the pain I had caused the ninja.

"Yes. And I will. Though you know he'll forgive you. Now go. Go find Naruto so that maybe the rest of the world can see you look like the way you did in those pictures."

It was hours before I found him actually, and the last place I looked was actually where I should've first. He was in his house, sleeping on the bed. It spoke a lot about Naruto that he stayed asleep while I entered the room, something that actually gave me hope. When Naruto and I first started sleeping in the same bed, we'd both wake up instantly when the other entered the room. Over time and practice, we somehow began to just know and remain sleeping when it was the other person. If anyone else ever got near us though, we'd still wake up instantly, kunai in hand. That here and now years later he still slept through and didn't wake up gave me the confidence I needed to do this. The knowledge that Naruto still trusted me, unconsciously at least. Even after that I still almost chickened out until I saw the picture. That picture. I got so unraveled looking at it that I didn't even notice when Naruto woke up.

"Sas-Sasuke?" Naruto mumbled, still waking up.

"Yeah, it's me." I spoke, relaxed. There wasn't a single person in the world other then Naruto that I could speak without thinking around, without having to be uptight.

"Why are you here?"

"I needed to talk to you." I said, not being able to resist a smile at seeing he still wore that stupid hat while he slept, making him look absolutely adorable.

"And you couldn't wait until morning?" He said, fumbling to look at his alarm clock that wasn't there. What Naruto didn't know was that I still had and used it.

"It's only 7 you baka."

"You try traveling from the Cloud village in a day. I can bet you that you'd fall asleep soon after too."

"I wouldn't be foolish enough to try unlike you." We both knew that he was the only person capable of the feat in the first place. Naruto had finally figured out his father's "yellow flash" technique, much to the frustration of Kakashi, who had been trying to master it for decades.

"What did you need?" He asked finally.

"A chance to explain. To apologize."

"You don't have anything to apologize for." He said, sitting up. "We weren't together anymore when you married Sakura." I watched as he tried to hide the pain when he said it, failing to me who knew how to read him oh so well.

"Yes I do. I have so much to apologies for. For marrying her, for not... not shouting to the world what we were."

"Sasuke-" He began before I interrupted him.

"Naruto, don't say it. Sakura and I... we don't love each other. She still loves Lee and I'm still in love with you. Even if you had never returned things were going to end between us soon."

I watched him as the thoughts went through his head, seeing the emotions like doubt, insecurity, trust, faith, and even love went through his eyes.

"Haven't we already been through enough?" I asked him, continuing a moment later. "I learned my lesson Naruto, and it was one I'll never forget. We've already spent enough time apart, gone through enough pain and missed enough of each other's memories."

"How do you know that I even want to try again?" He asked, something which nearly broke me. He saw it too, and I knew that instantly he regretted asking it.

"Forget I said that. What I meant is more like, how did you know." He said, searching my eyes and inspecting my soul.

"I was the one who kept this place clean the entire time you were gone. At first when I saw all the pictures gone, I wondered. I almost left then, thinking that maybe you were past all this. But then I came in here, and I saw the picture. I watched as you slept even though I came in the room and I thought maybe..."

"I never stopped loving you Sasuke, you know that was never the problem."

"I know." I said, looking away from him. For the second time that night I hadn't been able to look at someone in shame.

"Sasuke, look at me." He said instantly. And I couldn't refuse, I would never deny him anything if I could.

"I don't blame you. I love you, and part of me knew that this day might come when I returned here. When I came back I hated myself for hoping that it would, but when I left... I knew. I knew when you looked me in the eyes at your wedding even as I shook my head. Don't apologize to me Sasuke, I already know."

One of the reasons that I have always loved Naruto most is that he knew me better then anyone else, that he knows things before I even say them, prevents me from ever having to.

**Naruto**

Maybe some of you wonder why I gave in to him so easily. Why I forgave him for causing everyone so much pain for so long. I can only tell you that it's because I love him. What I told Sasuke had been true. A part of me when leaving Konoha knew that on my return things would be different. Sasuke and Sakura, they both needed to learn. I could've said no. I could've said that you should honor your marriage to Sakura, but that would only be causing Sakura, Sasuke, Lee and I all more unneeded time apart. More pain that we had all suffered for long enough.

So Sakura did talk to Lee, and the hyperactive ninjas of Konoha had gotten their loves back. Sasuke and Sakura did divorce, much to few people's shock. From what I understand, Tsunade already had most of the work done. Divorce for us is uncommon and usually takes a rather annoyingly long time. That the two of them had it done in under a week is nothing short of a miracle and a sign at how expected it had been to happen.

Sasuke proposed to me the day I became Hokage. In front of every person in Konoha.

I, of course - accepted.


	10. Eyes

Disclaimer: Many fics later, I still don't own Naruto.

I can only watch as you watch her. You watch her with eyes completely different than the ones you look at with me. I can see it when you do. In your eyes, will I forever be the dobe? The baka?

You were my rival so long. However, somewhere along the line, you became much more then that. Somewhere in the time that's past, I realized that while I loved Sakura, I wasn't IN love with her. I was in love with you.

I didn't want to love you. I fought against it and I denied it. But every time we fought against other ninja's, you were the one I was worried about. When I trained, I realized I trained so that you would no longer be protecting me, but I protecting you.

I know Kakashi realizes this. Maybe because Kakashi was in the same situation with Iruka. Oh and trust me, I knew about that. Sometimes that one eye of his will give away everything. However, what's that they say - "A master cannot fool a master." And we both were masters at hiding our true feelings.

I have been loud, and I may have been obnoxious, but it was a cover. Regardless of what I let on, I was still a child, a child with no parents, and no friends. Of course, their words actually affected me. In a way, they were all I had.

However, those words did push me to become who I am. Push me train harder and longer. Push myself to lengths that nobody realized. I wonder if you'll ever realize just how far I've come. If you'll ever see me with eyes that look at Sakura. But I don't think I'll ever know. I've spoken to the Hokage about leaving Konoha. She understands why. Probably more so then I'd like her to.

I have her permission to leave any day. I think I need to. Get away from the people who judge me with no knowledge. Away from you. Because I can't stand seeing, you watch her with those eyes. Those eyes that share everything you're feeling. Moreover, so much is hidden behind them, and I mean more than just your hand-me-down Sharingan, more than just the eyes of the last Uchiha.

More than just a boy set on avenging his family. What I see hidden behind those eyes is you. One thousand feelings and one million emotions. You are so easy to read. But maybe, I've just learned the right language to know how.

I watch as you train with her as you used to train with me. How you push her to go further because you know she can. You don't know I'm leaving. I want it that way. Will you even notice that I'm gone?

I drop my pen after finishing my last note. One for Iruka, telling him where I'd be, one to Kakashi explaining everything he needed to know, and one... this one to Sasuke. Even if I never saw the baka again, I should at least tell him somehow.

I'm not running away, I'm not. It's more like, leaving behind a past to be forgotten. I want to leave this village as the opposite of what I had always strived for, with anonymity. I want Uzumaki Naruto to be forever forgotten.

And so, I delivered my notes, and locked my door one last time. I roof leapt over to Sasuke's. Noticing he wasn't home, I left two things upon his doorstep.

A note, and my headband marking me a member of the Konoha, of which I was no longer part. And with a few quick leaps, Naruto was gone.

He was gone before the boy with raven black hair could notice him leaving and to never return. Before he could see the boy gasp when he saw the band, and read the letter. Or the two words that had escaped from his mouth. "Naruto, aishiteru." The boy would never get the chance to return his feelings. Would never know that when he looked at Sakura that he was actually imagining what life would be like with Naruto, and if Sakura would ever accept it. Would never know that he trained with Sakura because being that close to Naruto without actually having him for his own drove him crazy.

But he would know when Sasuke showed up on his doorstep years later. He would know when Sasuke demanded that he stop being such a baka and come back, because Sasuke had just wasted two years of their life "trying to find you, you stupid dobe." And he would finally, be happy.


	11. Final Leap

Disclaimer: Still don't own it.

It was he who left so long ago. Still an adolescent child, vengeance playing upon his mind. While his lips whispered nothing, I had far long ago learned to read the story in his eyes as he gave that one final look, before taking the first leap.

Many years passed, we grew older, wiser, and less foolish in our ways. I no longer the loud mouthed baka, no longer willing to accept the harsh looks of the village. It was fight upon fight, day after day. Still as I looked over there, you had not taken your final leap.

The years slowed, we were now jounins, no longer eager for that first chance to prove ourselves. I began to no longer look, no longer hope. After all, I was born to be lonely. How could I hope you would finally take that leap?

Word spread across the land, and weeks passed with no words. A hopeless wish, a desperate prayer. I wanted to read into those same eyes again. Not the eyes of a man who fights for a fight. And still we began to hope, that maybe he had taken his last leap.

The hours grew long, the candle dim. A dream had been fulfilled this night, and no one to congratulate. Eyes no longer filled with determination, but the eyes of a man long broken. Heart no longer beating for one; it had taken its last chance leap.

The minutes shortened, the seconds few. Three truly knew the truth. Eyes of the sky became eyes of the abyss. The shutters closed, the hope grew dim. And they knew soon, Naruto would take his final leap.

Seconds spare, barely in time. Eyes of vengeance became eyes of worry and sadness. He had caused this. Vengeance causing the need for vengeance. With so few words, the needed ones. A man opened his eyes, his heart taking a leap.

"I am home Naruto, my Hokage-sama."

---------------------

A/N:

While the fic is actually wrote exactly how I want it, if your left clueless to who the "he's" are and that each paragraph is a break in time, it can get confusing. So here it is, broken down.

Sasuke leaves the village at a young age, and even though he regrets what he's about to do, he knows he needs to defeat Itachi.

As time passes, Naruto changes. However as the years pass, no words of Sasuke have reached home yet.

More years pass and Naruto once again advances in his life. However, he's starting to give up hope that Sasuke will ever return. In a life he believes he's meant to live alone, he feels it's wrong to expect Sasuke to actually return.

Finally, words of a fight between two powerful ninja reaches Konoha. With Orochimaru long dead, everyone knows it could only be between Itachi and Sasuke. Naruto prays that Sasuke is the survivor, however the victor still is unknown. Naruto hopes that it's Itachi who's died.

After all these years, Naruto finally becomes Hokage. However out of all the people he wants to congratulate him, the most important person isn't there. Naruto's hope for Sasuke's life is about as bright as the life he lives daily. Black.

Naruto is now dying. He's heartbroken and his loneliness is killing him inside. He has a lack of will to live that is causing his deterioration. Only Kakashi, Sakura and Iruka know the real reason that Naruto is dying.

Barely in time before Naruto slips into a never-ending unconsciousness, Sasuke returns. The eyes that had been filled with vengeance are now saddened in pained in knowing he nearly killed the person who mattered most to him. Speaking the few words that mattered, Naruto's eyes open once again.


	12. Free

_A/N: The newest fic I have written to date, as it was actually written today (the day these were first published.)_  
Disclaimer: A long time later then writing the rest of these fics, I really still don't own Naruto.

There are some days when I feel inexplicably trapped. As I sit here and watch, just watch as Konoha's ninja's pair themselves off with eachother, I can't help but wonder and know that I will never have a chance at that kind of life. I am the Kyuubi's container. I am an orphan, annoying, hyperactive. I am a mask that will never be shown to the world. I am not free to do what I want or go where I please.

I am forced to watch as the person I care for, and possibly even love the most marries someone that's not me. I am trapped into pretending to be happy for them, to act as if I wasn't falling into a thousand pieces as the moments pass, breaking a little bit more minute by minute. I want to be happy for them, I really do but I can't do more then pretend.

Have you ever had a broken heart? When it feels as if ever fiber of your being is on fire, as if ever happy moment of your life never happened, as if the sole emotion you have left to feel is sadness. There is no anger, no joy. Only sorrow. And while later you can pretend that everything is alright for those who care about you, it's only another stabbing feeling because the one person you want to be asking you that question isn't. They're gone like the foggy breath you breathe on a cold night. Visible, but forever out of reach. You can try to touch it but it just dances around your fingers, before finally disappearing forever.

They say that you only truly fall in love once, that once in your life you come upon a great love. If this love is returned, it's forever. However, if this great love is refused then you are forever broken, forever changed and the damage it does is unrepairable. That is what this love is to me. I can't be happy just because he is happy, because I want to be the one that is making him smile, making him laugh and seeing those emotions that are so infrequently shown in his black eyes appear.

I am expected to be hyper, expected to be moronic, stupid and maybe even in a way unfeeling. I wonder if they really know just how like Sasuke and I are, only wearing a different mask, a different persona. He feels no emotion by refusing to show any. I show no emotion by only displaying one of them. If I were truly to be myself, I doubt people would even know who I was. I can't wear this mask any longer though. It's breaking as I break, crumbling as I do. Tomorrow, tomorrow the world will see Uzumaki Naruto for how he truly is. A broken lost boy who can never ever be fixed.

I laugh when people ask me what's wrong, I nod when people look at me, knowing how it is that I feel. Shrug when some look at me in curiosity, trying to figure out if this is who I have always been or if this is something new. They don't really care though, and if they are, they aren't the person who matters. I want so much to be free of this pain, of this strangling emotion that I can't escape. They call it love, I call it misery. If this is love, kami let me never feel it again. Just set me free... 

He looks at me like he's trying to understand, like maybe he does understand but he never will. He never will and I have always known this. Known that all there ever will be for Sasuke is duty and vengence. If he changed he wouldn't be the person I loved and I wouldn't love him. Given one chance to change anything in this world, I would never be in her place. I wouldn't be able to handle a marriage of duty, of falseness.

Death would be cowardly and to flee would show weakness. Two things I will never be is a coward or weak. So I will stay, stay because things can get no lower, you can feel no more pain when you have already felt it at it's worst. He will never know my feelings, will never know about this love that I hold for him that will never go away, and I will always wonder if things could've been different if I'd only told him.

So tomorrow I will go to the wedding, I will try to smile, try and pretend. I will watch as my every hope comes tumbling down and watch as he traps himself to Sakura and she does to him. Neither of them to ever know what it is like to love so much that nothing matters, nothing other then the person they love. Never know what it is like to live for a love, to die for a love. As tomorrow occurs I wonder who I feel worse for. Me with the broken soul and a torn heart, or them who will never ever get the chance to know how great and horrible love truly is.

If only... if only we were free...


	13. Immitation

_A/N: This is the first and only poem. It's from Naruto's point of view and he's reflecting on Sasuke's betrayal and how little it differs from what Itachi did to everyone._  
Disclaimer: You'd think after a certain number of fics, I could just claim that by now you should know. Well just in case, I don't own Naruto.

Marcus Aurelius Antoninus - _"To refrain from imitation is the best revenge."_  
Marcus Aurelius - _"The best sort of revenge is not to be like him who did the injury."__  
_  
I hope you got exactly what you wanted.  
Got all the power you could dream of.  
Lived happily as you abandoned everyone.  
Forgot that some people cared.  
Became the same monster that you destroyed.  
Falling right into his very trap.

Did you ever even think about it.  
Realize what they would've wanted.  
Listened to those who spoke around you.  
Cared about those who cared.  
Crushing dreams as you finish yours.  
Destroying pure souls just like he did.

You were once loved you know.  
People cared, tried and failed.  
Sought and fought to save you.  
Mourned over the loss of the living.  
Listened as you crossed the line.  
Cried as you betrayed us all.

Have you realized you've become him.  
Giving up your only honor.  
Dying like you said you wouldn't  
Taking the cowards way about it.  
Have you forgotten who you are.  
Remembered what you had forgotten.

You will live and to regret.  
A killer is still a killer.  
Will this ever make you happy.  
From this what will you gain.  
Helping to harm those who help.  
A puppet you're played, lost strings.

Falling into his very trap.  
Crushing dreams to finish yours.  
You were once loved you know.  
Taking the cowards way about it.  
A killer is still a killer.


	14. Intelligent Idiot

_A/N: This fic took the most brutal beating of repair last round, so I felt in recognition I'd also allow it to remain unchanged._

Disclaimer: I own Naruto… soundtracks and DVD's, and a bit of manga. That's it.

"Why are you leaving?"

"Depends on who you're asking Sakura."

"I'm asking you."

"No are you asking my heart? My mind? My soul? Because when asked each one will give its own answer."

"…You love him don't you?"

"If it were only that simple."

"So why do this, why leave?"

"Because of that. Because I cannot stand to see him look at me with those eyes anymore. I cannot stand the hatred. Because even if it is not me he is happy with, I want him to be just that. Happy."

"You truly love him to give up your own happiness. You know, it was watching you watch him that made me realize I really wasn't in love with Sasuke. Just a childhood crush I refused to give up on. Naruto, I've seen the way you look at him, if you do this…will you be ok?"

"Sakura, if I try and die tonight, at least we'll know it'll have been for a cause. And my death would've had meaning."

"You know, character was never your style. Why show it now? Why to me?"

"Yes it was. Character is whom you are when you have nothing left to live for. Moreover, I haven't had anything to live for my entire life. Living life to prove you to others is not life, its acceptance. Then I met Sasuke, and my life did have meaning. I lived to be better then him, and to make him train even harder so I would not be. Now, that part of my life is done. Maybe where I will go, I will find another one. Away from him."

"You will never cease to stop surprising people will you?"

"Assumptions are a great thing until the truth is revealed."

"Have you ever told him? Even shown him this side of you that you've hidden so long from all of us?"

"No. And I never will. Because if Sasuke did by some chance love me, I would want him to love me for the person everyone else see's first. Because if you can see my mask, and then see through it, then I know you really do love me."

"Has there always been this side to you, this side of Uzumaki Naruto that nobody see's?"

"A boy with no parents and a village full of people who hate him does not become an idiot. I'm the same age as you Sakura and yet somehow I failed the genin exams three times before I passed it when you took it."

"The first time you took it was 3 years before even Sasuke tried. Before I tried. You were three years ahead of us."

"By the time you guys reached the same level as me, I just didn't try in my school work anymore. That was the first time I got Iruka. Before that, no matter how hard I worked, I would still fail."

"He'd want to know."

"But he never will. And he never can. Promise me Sakura."

"I was supposed to be the smartest in the class Naruto, and yet I never saw this. You really are the #1 ninja at surprising people. But as much as I'd like you to tell Sasuke, it's your own decision."

"Not surprising people, just choosing the right times to let them see."

"Did Kakashi ever know about this? Ever see the truth?"

"Likely. As much as he didn't always show it, he seemed to always believe in me."

"I don't understand Naruto. All your life you wanted people to recognize you, and now when you have some people who do, you're ready to leave it all."

"I'd do about anything for him. And I want to leave while they still can believe in me."

"He'll come after you."

"Why? Why would Uchiha Sasuke come for me? I'm just another person turning his back on the village."

"Because Naruto, even though I know why you're leaving, I still want to come get you. And I would like to think that even if I did not know why, I would still come get you. Baka you might have been, but you were still my teammate, still Naruto. Where will you go anyways?"

"Away. Nice try."

"You would've been ashamed if I hadn't. I still don't understand how it is you can give up on your dream now that you're coming so much closer to reaching it."

"Dreams and people can change. My dreams changed when I realized I loved him. But even if by some chance Sasuke did return my feelings, I could never allow anything to happen. Sasuke is the last of his clan. Right now, he could change that. With ample fan girls chasing after him it wouldn't be that hard to choose one."

"But what if I don't like girls?"

"Sasuke. How nice to see you." Sakura said to the boy who had snuck up behind me.

"Kuso! Baka, how long have you been there? Kami, you'd think by now that of all people I should be able to tell where you are."

"Long enough. Isn't it my choice whether or not my clan ends with me? You are neglecting the fact you are the last Uzumaki has well. Just because your family doesn't have a blood-limit ability doesn't mean anything."

"That's my choice."

"And so is mine. Dobe, I won't allow you to run off on me."

Sasuke barely noticed as Sakura started to leave the scene. Naruto noticed, but said nothing.

"Good luck Sasuke-kun, he's not the dobe we always thought he was." She whispered as she left.

"Hai, I know. He's more so."

"I will leave. If you follow me, I will leave again. If you continue following me, I will leave a final time. Only that time, permanently."

"And I will still follow. If you die Kami, help you because I will follow that red line and kill you again for even doing it. And then I will follow you more."

Naruto sighed, "Why is it that whenever I stay, people want me to go, but when I finally try and leave, they don't let me?"

"Because you're Naruto. And that is just how things work. There is so much to you I don't know Naruto, and there is more to me then you can guess. But I swear on my parents' grave, if you leave, I will follow you. If I can't follow you, I will train every day until I can."

"Why? Why do this? You hate me."

"Because my body knew something before my heart. I will always be around to protect you."

Naruto gave it one last final try, arguing with Sasuke was not an easy thing.

"This changes nothing."

"This changes everything. I love you Naruto and I will never let you forget it. Because somewhere along the lines, I fell in love with the dobe you are, and the Naruto I could see behind those eyes."

With a final sigh of reluctance, and final acceptance, I spoke again. "I love you too."

"I know. Come on, let's go get some Ramen."

"Did I even stand a chance?"

"Nope."

And with that, the two chuunin walked to the Ramen bar. Together, as they would until the end of time.


	15. Intention

_A/N: This got expanded from being just a paragraph to longer. This is another age-old forgotten thing from October '04._  
Disclaimer: Nope, Naruto owns to people. People not including me.

It was hard. Very... very hard. One year ago, Sasuke had betrayed us all. But before everyone else, he betrayed me. He called me his closest friend, and then tried to kill me. For all Sasuke knows at this point, I have been dead for a year. The ironic part is, I still love him. I don't know how or why or even when I first knew that I did. I don't understand how someone can try to kill you and you still love them later. Maybe it was because he didn't actually kill me, or maybe because I knew it wasn't really Sasuke that was there that day. Ever since Sasuke got the curse seal, Orochimaru had Sasuke under his control. So maybe it was more that I really didn't blame him, because I knew that in a way, Sasuke was innocent.

I'm the only person who believes this. Who believe that the curse seal on Sasuke slowly began to give Orochimaru control over Sasuke's actions. They try and point out that Orochimaru doesn't control Anko, but I can only claim that Sasuke was differnt. With Sasuke he wanted to use his body, not corrupt him. So I don't hold Sasuke at fault, because those weren't the actions of the Sasuke I knew. The Sasuke that nobody ever saw, not even Sasuke himself. He didn't mean to show me, and he certainly probably never intended to.

A boy doesn't risk death to save your life so that he can take it himself later. He doesn't, even when being presurred to, miss a target unless he intends to. If Sasuke had wanted to kill me that day, he would've. Just as Sasuke know that if I wanted to kill him that day, it wouldn't have been drawn out. He'd be dead already. He didn't intend to let me see the look in his eyes of desperation. He intended to ignore me the day he tried to betray Konoha. He intended to force Sakura into asking me to save him. While Sasuke never intended to let me in, he did.

One year ago I began training. This year, I will continue to train, and before the end of next year, I will prove the results of that training. I will do as I have promised to do. Promised to myself, to Sakura - and unwittingly to Sasuke. I do not intend to lose, and will not allow Sasuke to be used as a tool. Kakashi once told me that ninja's should be tools. I can bet that what Sasuke's going through isn't what he _indended_ to say.

You see, it's all about betrayal, innocence and intentions.

This all happened five years ago now, and just like I intended to do, I brought Sasuke back. I proved that I was right to everyone - Sasuke had never been in control of his actions from hours after Orochimaru's seal was placed on him. Now that I have Sasuke, I never intend to let him go again. I never betrayed my word, Sasuke remains innocent of the crimes he was accused of, and you all know my intentions by now.


	16. It Will Be

_A/N: Reincarnation again, only this time it's swapped around again so Sasuke remembers. Apologies that I seem to rather have a theme going on with these sorts of stories. _

I'm so tired now Sasuke. I can see your eyes frantic, worried now. Moreover, even now, in these moments, I think you're the most beautiful person alive. However, the black is calling to me; it's warm... never as warm as your touch though. I'm sorry for this. I know you hate is, but if given the choice, I would still do it all over again. You're asking me why, when you know. Years and years ago, I asked you this very same question, and the answer hasn't changed any with the switch in positions.

You tell me not to talk, that everything will be all right. If I can hold on, that you'll be insulting me again in no time. I'm sorry Sasuke, so sorry. Sorry to leave you alone again in this world. I could never live however, knowing you had died before me, that I hadn't been there to fight by your side. You are so much stronger than I am though; you can take this where I couldn't. To finally find someone more important then anything else, and than to have him taken so harshly away would have killed what was left of my soul.

"Now your wor-...rries are...over." I struggle to say. It's hard to breathe, and talking only makes it all the harder. You're yelling at me now, and if I could find the strength to smile, I think I would be. I know this Sasuke. You're yelling about how you don't care if the villagers find out we're in love, and that it doesn't matter if his clan survives, especially if they can't protect those they love anyway.

"It...was...not meant...to be." I say. The words cost me a lot, and I could feel the nagging pull begin to end. The dying was nearly dead now, and I wouldn't last another minute. I could feel my eyes start to shut for the last time, but the words you said would ring in my ears forever.

"But it will be."

100 years ago, an avenger loved a demon.

The demon gave his life for that avenger, who in turn spent the rest of his life trying to pay back the demon.

100 years later, they were born to life once again, and the avenger continues to try to find a way to pay back the biggest debt he ever owed.

"120 years ago a Kitsune attacked Konoha, and the young fourth Hokage gave his life to seal the kitsune within his only child, Uzumaki Naruto. Though Naruto was killed before he ever found this out who his parents really were. The Hokage will forever be remembered as a hero, but his child had a much harder time in life. Uzumaki Naruto, was, and still is known, as one of the best ninja to come from this village.

Naruto spent his life being shunned by the villagers, instead of thinking of Naruto as a hero for the sacrifices he made. The first 16 years of his life were spent struggling to prove to everyone that he was worthy of acceptance and notice in their eyes. He first gained this from his teacher, and then later his teammates and sensei.

While taking the chuunin exams Naruto was recognized by many, and not long after when his teammate, a rival bent on avenging the death of his parents fled to another village, which had been recently attacking Konoha. Along with four others, Naruto was sent to retrieve his teammate, Uchiha Sasuke. They succeeded in this mission, though they nearly failed, and the entire team returned with near fatal injuries. If it hadn't been for the shocking aide of the Hidden Sand, they may not have won. As many of this world's kages, Naruto gave up his life at an early age to protect this village and its future. It was in the final battle with Orochimaru who had been plaguing Konoha for half a decade, that Naruto died, leaving behind the person he loved, and the people who had accepted him." He finished, looking around the room. His face was rather unsurprised to see many students weren't paying attention. I think I nearly gave him a heart attack when I raised my hand.

"What ever happened to the person that Naruto was in love with, what of...it?" I said, choosing not to say the original words that had come to my mind.

"It is believed that Naruto's only love was unrequited by a girl formerly on his genin team." At that, I coughed back a laugh, if only they knew.

"Oh. Well, I wonder who U.S. is then."

"I'm sorry?" He asked.

"The letters U.S. + U.N. are carved into a tree in my yard, and considering it was formerly Uzumaki's house, I assumed the U.N was him." I ignored the bafflement of my teacher, and the slight murmur of words from the students who'd been paying attention since I began talking. I expected the reaction, especially when my teacher managed to avoid the subject before continuing to teach.

'I wonder what they'll say really. The day the villagers find out the truth about how Naruto died. Why he died, and how the person he died for didn't deserve the sacrifice he made for him. He killed Orochimaru to get Sasuke truly back, to free him from his entrapment.'

Memories that haunted me for the rest of my life, and into this one. How Sasuke and Naruto had struggled to be together despite the villagers cold reception to men loving each other... despite their hatred towards Naruto. How he could take it all... I'll never understand. Always telling me he had me brainwashed or that he was trash, right in front of him. Never once did he let it get to him, and when he became Hokage, he looked at the people who shunned him no differently then the rest. But how he hated seeing the villagers occasionally toss harsh words my way - he said I didn't deserve it at all, and almost broke us up on more then one occasion, saying fate had just found us not meant to be.

But my reply will ever remain the same.

"It will be."

I still don't know why I was reincarnated with all my memories of my previous life, but for some reason I was. It is a lot different living in Konoha now, the peace that Naruto achieved when he killed Orochimaru has caused the people to forget to live life in caution. I cannot really blame them; only stories of that day and age exist here anymore. The days of the legendary ninja, such as the sanin, Kakashi, and even Naruto are taught in history class to bored students. At least I'm guaranteed an A in history.

There are fewer ninja, most boys and girls are sent to school instead of the training academy, and even those like me who are still sent to the academy spend less time on skills and training and more on facts and knowledge. None of it really matters to be though. All I want to know is:

Is he here too? Or is this my punishment from fate, to know and be alone. So completely alone. For all the pain and trauma we lived through, I wish that just for a little while, Naruto could be truly happy. Could have a chance to live life without constantly looking over his shoulders, or to worry what other people might be thinking about of him for his actions. So even if all I could ever do is watch him live, I would be happy.

So far, if Naruto is alive again I have no idea who he is. This could be delayed by the factor that even though everyone acts nearly the same, they look different. I'm sure that if I had lived again looking just as I had before, I would have raised a few suspicions. The hard part is that Naruto could be one of the people who act completely different now that his upbringing could be different. He could have parents and siblings now, people who care. He wouldn't need me.

Even in this life, I'm alone. When I was only eight, my parents were killed while on a mission together. I was orphaned, thankfully not having Itachi around again. No parent wanted to take me in either, this time; I'm the one being shunned by the villagers. They think I'm strange, acting far older then I am, unusually quiet for even a shinobi. I'm content with this though, it means I'm left alone.

I chose to live in Naruto's house. My own Uchiha manor now belonged to another clan, another family. Naruto and I had forgotten its dreary halls long before our deaths anyway, choosing to live together in his smaller cozier house. On the other hand, it was a house after three weeks of vigorous cleaning on my part and a lot of trash later. All around me were signs of our previous relationship together which was a blessing and a burden. I was granted with the chance to relive some of the memories only to be forced back into the present moments later, the pain of living without the one person who made me human again all the greater.

One day however, my world would be given a run for its money.

Class was going by slower then usual. When you already know everything you're being taught about history - having lived through most of it, it gets rather droll. That is, until we got a new student.

Normally this would barely get my attention, something however on this day made me look up. He was an orphan, found in the desert abandoned for death by Kakashi on his returning of a mission. He had chin length scruffy blonde hair and the bluest eyes possible. Eyes that showed misery, pain and suffering. It looked like had he been given the choice, he would have rather died in the desert, an idea that strangely bothered me greatly. His clothes were similar to my own, baggy black pants adorned with many pockets for hidden weaponry, and a dark green shirt, which would easily blend in with his surroundings. Other then that, his likeness to my own self ended there. With my raven black hair barely reaching my chin and dark brown eyes, I wasn't a great deviation from how I had previously looked - just enough for people to be able to put together why I looked familiar.

Hissori Nakunasu was his name. Deserted child. He barely took the time to look around the room, and he completely avoided me. There had been two open seats, one directly next to me, and the other completely across the room. He chose the later. This would normally not bother me in the least; I liked being left alone after all. However, when you're starting to wonder if this boy is the reincarnation of your soul mate, it does tend to bother you a bit.

Class ends and you're gone before I even have a chance to speak to you. I never do really get a chance to speak to you - the hilarious part is that we're constantly thrown together. Same classes, same lunch, same friends. Nevertheless, never together. Now…now I'm beginning to wonder, could you be avoiding me? Maybe you remember our past and you're ashamed of it, ashamed of having loved me. Do you regret it? I know though, that even if you do that… that it was still all worth it because I got the chance to love you once. Moreover, maybe that's all I'll ever receive. But I'm slowly dying here Naruto, so far I have lived my life in hope of seeing you again, or being with you again. Otherwise, I don't have a meaning to my existence. I might be who I am, but I can't be that person without your impact on my life.

Therefore, I'm going to find out if it's you. I'm going to make you stop running from me. I will talk to you.

Will is easier said than done. I've tried to talking to you by being your sparring partner, your partner in class, sitting near you at lunch. You always seem to have an excuse or a reason to avoid me. Now I've got you trapped. Its lunch and you're alone. You have nowhere to run now my little kitsune.

"Nakunasu?" I asked, yet even as the words came from my mouth, they seemed to not fit the boy sitting in front of me.

"Hai? You're Sasuke right. And don't call me Nakunasu, I hate that name. And you know very well that my name is Naruto."

"So you do know who I am. Does this mean…?"

"Mean what? That in a previous life you were a rival of mine? Ever since I came here and saw you, I've been getting glimpses of the past. I suppose that does explain why I always wanted to be called Naruto though."

"Oh. So you don't-"

"Don't what? Don't remember when you left the village? Killed you brother?"

"Anything after that. And stop cutting me off dammit Naruto, being the ass was always my job not yours."

"Times change "Sasuke-kun." times change. You don't seem to be the oh-so popular boy you were back then either."

"People change. So no, you don't remember. And at this rate, maybe I'm glad you don't."

"Am I missing something here?"

"Yes and no. It just involved something from our past that might have affected our future."

"Is my future something I should be worried about?"

"No. It's not at all. Yet."

"So what are you saying."

"Nothing. Just that "It will be."

And I walked away before he could get in another word. In technicality that may have been Naruto, but I can see now that things will never be the same between us. In a life where he remembers little and is no longer the same boy in body, heart and soul, hope is well, hopeless. And so I'm content to just wait until the next life, where maybe body, heart and soul are together again.

_**(NARUTO POV)  
**_  
I remembered, of course I did. I tried so hard to avoid that conversation, to avoid saying those words. But you had to say them, had to say those three words to me didn't you? The only words that could make me doubt the choice I'd made so long ago. You see my Sasuke, I've known where you were for years but I've managed to avoid ever letting you see me.

It's the anniversary of your death, and I have to wonder if you ever remember that it is. Regardless, I had to be here, on this day, at this age when you died so long ago. That's why I'm here now.

It was month later, and on the anniversary of my death that I knew something was going wrong. Something inside me was pulling me to my gravestone, a place I'd managed to avoid during all my life. I saw you then, standing before it and as I looked at you I knew that the choices I'd made for you were wrong.

"You know Sasuke, bleeding all over my gravestone is a pretty poor way to repay the life I gave up so you could live, and here you're about to do it again."

You looked back at me in shock, and maybe a little horror before things began to comprehend to you, what I'd done in this life. You looked in an instant to me completely broken and worn out and I felt my own heart break a little at seeing you so dead.

"I didn't want you to die - that's why I died to give you a chance at a normal life Sasuke, and you refused it. After a bit of convincing, I manage to get you resurrected for a life when you never knew me, and somehow you still remember everything. I then try letting you think I just didn't exist anymore until I couldn't stay away any longer, so I tried letting you think I'd never remember everything but that failed as well."

"Did you ever stop to think that maybe I couldn't, wouldn't and don't want to live my life without you Naruto? I've always been cold and cruel, and you managed to give me a reason for _wanting_ to be alive. I will never have a normal life Naruto, just as you never will and that is what makes me, me and you, you. I've never cared what people said about me, never cared that while you are taught to every child in history nobody even remembers me but as the boy you saved from betraying everyone. If you want me to live a normal life so much, let it be normal because I'm actually happy. Fortunately for us, what makes me happy is you."

"Ok."

"That's it? Just... ok? You damn kitsune, I spill out everything to you and all you have to say is -"

I never gave him a chance to say anything else. He was currently to busy using his mouth for other things, to say anything and neither could I.

Which is the way it should've been, had been and always will be.

Fin.


	17. Kiwadoi

**A/N: This was a story I had always intended to write, but just never could manage to continue. It's nowhere near a full story, but more like a teaser chapter.**

"Naruto, you can't do this! If you're caught, you could be killed!"

"Taking a risk is better then forever living my life as someone I'm not. You know as well I as do that I was not meant to live this life as a girl. I was not born to cook, clean, and take care of children! I will live my life as I was meant to Iruka-kun, with or without this accursed seal! My name - my true name is Uzumaki Naruto and I refuse to waste it away as Kae Shikii!"

Iruka sighed. This was a battle he had known was long coming. In Konoha, it was forbidden for women to become ninja. It had been ruled 50 years prior that the line of work was to brutal and harsh for women to take. But Naruto also wasn't you average female. To be technical, Naruto wasn't a female at all, regardless as though all but a few months of his life he'd spent them as such. But one never truly forgot who one was.

Naruto was the product of a curse seal, as a child a few months old, the fourth hokage had sacrificed his life, and his own child in a manner of such to protect Konoha from further harm from the demon. But whether the jutsu went awry, or it was one last attempt to ruin the life of someone by the kitsune, something went wrong. Uzumaki Naruto, who had been born a boy was now a girl.

"I'm not going to win this argument with you - I've known that for years I suppose. You're too headstrong to even think about the consequences of the actions you're taking. But if you go Naruto, you'll be living a lie… and the truth. If they find out - if, and you aren't killed, you could change Konoha once again forever."

"I'm not trying to. But if it happens while I'm on the way to becoming hokage, then let it."

"You'll have to cut your hair - short. Cover up your whisker marks. For all your idiocy, you've become well known enough as Shikii to attract attention when someone else with the same birthmarks shows up."

"What if I mastered henge?"

"Naruto, that could take months, even years. And we have… two weeks to get you ready for training school. I was able to train you some, and even that was against the laws, but these boys will have been brought up as ninja. They'll know more then I've been able to teach you."

"Iruka-kun, you're the best teacher Konoha ever had. Why you stopped teaching is beyond me. But if anyone could teach me, it would be you."

"Naruto, you will be the death of me."

"Probably, but let's go, we've only got 2 weeks to catch up on 14 years."

The story of my life is a strange one, and not one that many could comprehend. But who could blame them? I am a boy, trapped to live as a girl, pretending to be a boy. If it's found out who I could be killed, for pretending to be what I really am.

But let me explain how Konoha works. Konoha is one village of many that in mainly inhabited by Ninja and their families, in many - but not all - females are forbidden to become Ninja. The boys however, are trained by their family until they reach the age of 14, and then most often are sent to the training academy. Others who choose not to, or are incapable of it, become the peasants of the village, working in ramen stands and the like. The ones in the academy stay there until they reach the age of 16, they are then tested and if passing, train with a sensei for 2 or more years. Those who fail, either quit of repeat the years.

I was raised after my parents death by Iruka, he took care of me, taught, and in secret trained me. Iruka is one of the few people who doesn't hate me for what the demon sealed in my did, and is also one of the only people who knows the truth about me. As of right now, only three people know that Uzumaki Naruto is my real name, and the I am male. As a female, to gain attention, I often pulled pranks on everyone and anyone. I hated lessons of sewing, cooking, cleaning and basic defense. There was no challenge, no thrill. A lot of people thought that I would be one of the females who became a missing nin, one of those who left Konoha to become a ninja in a village where females were still trained.

And in a way - I did. Kae Shikii would become a missing nin when I joined up in the academy, Iruka would say I was an orphan he picked up during one of his travels. All I would have to do is keep my name from ever reaching the hokage's desk. The old man would probably have forgotten my name by now, but to be on the safe side, it was better to keep from notice.


	18. Kodoku

_A/N: I wrote this a long time ago as a fic that's non-yaoi because the people who won't read yaoi were being annoying, as usual._

Warnings: Character death, a lot of angst, cutting, suicide, negative thoughts… Since this is one of my fics, I suppose I should warn you that it's not yaoi too.

Disclaimer: No I don't own Naruto.

Loneliness.

Naruto lived alone. Naruto will die alone. Did anyone really care? Sasuke sure as hell didn't. A rival. I couldn't have begged Sakura to care. A meaningless crush. Iruka could never truly care. How could you care about someone who was host to the thing that murdered your parents? Hinata doesn't know me. She wants to befriend the person in front of the mask. The happy Naruto.

The happy Naruto doesn't think, never shuts up, doesn't have a care in the world, and dreams of nothing but being Hokage. The real Naruto actually does think before he acts, and strives for attention from anyone; just to remind him he does exist in this cold, heartless place they call life.

The real Naruto stands over his sink every night cutting open a slit in his upper arm, to remind him he can feel. He sits and watches the blood run, reminding himself that he is, indeed, still alive. He watches as the cut heals within a minute, reminding him he's not really human at all, and he wears long sleeved shirts to cover this up.

Naruto ponders breaking the seal of the nine-tailed Kitsune. Maybe then people will remember who he is. Maybe then they'll realize what they have right in front of them. Parents. Friends. People who love them… But Naruto doesn't know love. He's never experienced it. No parents, no siblings, no friends.

So that's why Naruto stands over the cliff ravine, looking down at the river rushing hundreds of feet below him. He wonders what would happen if he didn't use his chakra to make him land on his feet if he jumped off. So he does jump, and he finally feels one true moment of peace as the wind rushes through his hair and he falls through the sky.


	19. Live to Avenge

_A/N: A word play, Naruto's thoughts on Sasuke in a non-yaoi way (however unintended that was)._

Disclaimer: No.

You live only to avenge, and yet even though you know it will bring no happiness, you do it anyway. Why? Why do this? Kill the one person you have left related to you? Yes, he did kill your entire family – but he left you alive. In a way – show him that same...disrespect. Prove to him you really are better by letting him know he isn't worth fighting. Don't become him to destroy him.

Power is not only physical strength, but emotional as well. Sometimes the strength that your friends have in you is more power then you'll ever need. I want to one day become Hokage, to have every recognize me. But the power I have – that of the Kyubi, I would give that up if I could. I'd give it to you just to have half the respect people do for you. They expect you to go places, do things.

I have what you want and you have what I want. What a funny little rivalry we have.


	20. Regret

_A/N: A drabble I wrote the other day when I got the idea of regret in my head._  
Disclaimer: I've written this so many times this week... I don't own Naruto.

Have you ever made a choice in life you completely regretted? I have. I regret most of my life, however there is one... one part of my life that I regret the most, yet I know that if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be who I am today, with who, or where. During that part of my life, I nearly killed the person I came to love, and betrayed everyone who I would think of as friends one day. But it was those things that caused me to actually realise what I was doing. By running to Orochimaru for power, I was screaming that I was weak. Naruto got to where he was in his life by sheer determination, strength, and hard work. I had to have a curse seal placed on me before I could even nearly kill him, and then I was going to let someone... use me to get what I wanted in life.

But as I looked down at the stubborn mostly dead boy in front of me, I knew I couldn't kill him. I couldn't. And maybe it was because even then I loved him, or maybe it was because I knew he was the only person who could save me from being me. I left him alive because I wanted to be saved, I needed to be, because obviously I couldn't be trusted to make my own choices in life.

Three years later when Naruto came moments before Orochimaru fused his body with mine, I felt... relief. I was glad, so very glad that he had made it in time. And I know that on that day had I died, I might even have accepted it. Naruto saved me from me. I could only watch as Naruto fought with Orochimaru and I could do nothing but watch, and when Naruto nearly fell, I decided that moment, that maybe I could save myself by saving him. And so I did. Without even the slightest hesitation, I used the largest chidori I could ever put together on the unsuspecting Orochimaru. He should have known better then to think I would betray the only person in my life I would ever accept as part of it. The only person who had maybe suffered more then I did, and lived for so much more then I could ever even hope to glimpse.


	21. Reiten

_A/N: This fic practically underwent plastic surgery in an attempt to repair the horror I'd done to it. As well as fixing grammar, horrid puncuation, and phrasing, the fic is now complete. As many of my "one shots" are, it's really a short fic in one chapter._

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Life hasn't always been easy for me. Hell, life has probably never been easy for me. From day one this life of mine was cursed to always be miserable. Sealed inside me was the symbol of everyone's hatred in this village. The accursed Kyuubi sealed in my stomach.

I've wondered why I was the one chosen before. Was I a bad child? Did my parents, whoever they were, hate me too? Was I just an abandoned child chosen to suffer an entire lifetime alone and hated?

I've always been the dobe. The idiot and energetic kid. I was just trying to get everyone's attention. Maybe even convince myself that if I acted happy long enough that maybe I really would be. I strive for everyone to notice me, but where will that really get me? Is it even possible for a kid to change his stars and fight destiny? I told Neji it was. But I believed it then.

But back then, Sasuke hadn't been part of a prearranged marriage. He was just another boy living life as best as he could. Sasuke was to marry Hinata. The most opposing pair one might ever think of. Sweet, quiet, innocent Hinata, and harsh, tainted, and cruel Sasuke. The two were about as alike as Shikamaru and I were - they had one thing in common. They lived in Konoha.

This was probably the last straw for me. Over time I had fallen for Sasuke, for some reason when I thought of Haku's words about a "special person" I always thought of Sasuke. And now, the one person who I truly cared about, was getting married. What's probably worse is that Sasuke didn't even try to fight the marriage. He found out about it from Hinata's father, and various papers that were dug out by Tsunade proved that his words were indeed true, his parents had agreed to have the two children married at 18. The wedding was now supposed to take place in one week.

I never told Sasuke how I felt, and I probably never will. Few know how I felt about him - Kakashi had seemingly found out one way or another, and Iruka had soon known as well. Sakura might know but she either chooses to ignore the fact, or accept and not care. Sakura had gotten over her crush on Sasuke long previous to this, as Lee and her had been dating for 2 years and just about everyone expects them to marry sooner or later. Kami knows none of us expected Sasuke to be the first to marry.

So a week before the wedding I left Konoha. A fresh jounin released into the ninja world. Originally, I hadn't planned on leaving, but the opportunity presented itself and I wasn't about to refuse. I just couldn't stand to watch and lose Sasuke, the words he gave to be one night were excuses - meaningless. Words of restoring clans fell on deaf ears to the boy with no parents. It was what they wanted he said, but those words won't do be any good late at night when I'm cold and alone, thinking of what might have been had I spoke up. Uchiha Sasuke was going to marry Hyuga Hinata, regardless of an unspoken love by the town idiot.

In the years it's been since I left Konoha that I've changed has been an understatement. I'm honest with myself and the world around me now. Not hiding behind a mask, acting innocent and oblivious to what's really going on. My body taller, my blonde spiky hair has grown longer, but after one mission, when I nearly didn't live, came the biggest change - blue eyes turned the blood red of the kyuubi.

My mission had been assigned for by Tsunade, it would take approximately 4 years, but I didn't care - I could get out of Konoha, and quickly. Tsunade didn't bother to ask why, she knew as she always does. To the rest of the ninja world I was to be a missing nin, I was to avoid all encounters with Konoha shinobi, and if possible I was to avoid killing anyone. I wore no markings of the village I was once part of, nor was I do dress and act like the Naruto that once was. My orange outfit is no more, replaced by a crimson red shirt, black vest with the kyuubi seal symbol upon the back, and black long shorts.

My job was to act as a spy, to spend one year in the prominent shinobi villages, excluding Sound. Stone, Cloud, Mist, and Sand. I was to gather as much information as possible and report only to Tsunade and Jiraiya through frog summoning. My spying for the most part has been keeping Konoha safe from the attacks of Orochimaru. But now my years have ended, and as a 20 year old missing nin, I'm to return to the last place I'd like to be.

The most ironic thing that happened was that I was never caught by a leaf nin until I was trying to return. Shikamaru stopped me from entering and thankfully instead of killing me, I was brought to Tsunade to be dealt with instead.

"Hokage-sama, Naruto has been found trying to sneak back into Konoha, and I know that Naruto is a missing nin but-"

"Shikamaru, bring him to me."

"Hai." He said, before exiting the room and retrieving me.

"Naruto."

"Tsunade-baaba! Long time no see."

"You let yourself be caught. I'm ashamed in you."

"Sorry. Sneaking in would've taken to much effort, and then what would I have done, come to you and say "Hi Tsunade, want to tell the rest of the village they can't kill me?"

"That's what I was planning."

"Planning takes more effort then it's worth."

"Odd words coming from the spy sneaking in and out of villages for the last four years."

"Yes, and that's four years of planning, so I deserved a well earned break. Plus I wanted to see how Shikamaru here would react, it was so much more fun that way."

"He's been spying for us? And I didn't even know?" Shikamaru replied.

"Shikamaru, you may be head of the hunter nins, but you still don't know everything that goes on around here."

"This loud mouth went 4 years without being caught. It's amazing."

"You'd be surprised at how much he's changed. Naruto, you're welcome to my guest room until I can inform everyone that you're not to be killed."

"Thanks. It was a long trip back from the Sand country." Naruto spoke, already walking out the door.

"He has changed Shikamaru, you'd be amazed by how much."

"Hai, I can tell already. Does he know that-"

"No. And I want to keep it that way. It's not our place to tell him anything about Sasuke."

It was the next morning when I was in the woods training that I first saw Sasuke again. My years of spying had done their job and I was fortunately unnoticed by the shinobi I once loved. He hadn't changed much. He was taller, more fit. His face had become more mature looking, his eyes as black as ever. He trained with nobody, and practiced for hours. When he began to use his sharingan I left, I may be good at hiding and being unnoticed now, but no amount of it would prevent him from noticing a shinobi hiding far above. It was back in my temporary housing with Tsunade that I allowed myself to dwell on thoughts of Sasuke for the first time in years. He was exactly as I pictured he would be.

The meeting that Tsunade gathered was perhaps amusing to say the least. Among the people there was Kakashi and Iruka, Sakura, Shikamaru, Jiraiya, Lee, Gai, TenTen, and most of the other people I had once been a genin with. Sasuke was there as well, as was to be expected of the captain of the anbu.

"An S class high priority missing nin has been captured. However, due to the circumstances regarding his disappearance, he will not be executed.

"Why not?" Someone had called out, it may have been Lee but from my position from the rafters above, I couldn't hear very well.

"This ninja has been spying for Konoha for the last four years, it is probably because of some of the information he provided us with that has kept us safe. His information has been invaluable to us and so that his job was easier we had him classified as a missing nin. Since he has now returned to the village I wanted to inform you all not to kill him. I don't think he would appreciate being killed so early in his life."

"Who was it?" Sakura asked.

"Me." I said, jumping down from the rafters. A few ninja jumped, one or two grumbled about how they hadn't even noticed I was there, others just stared with widened eyes, and a select group of people weren't surprised at all.

"Naruto has been spying for us? Of all people he was the last person I expected it to be." Iruka said.

"Iruka I'm ashamed. You seriously thought that I left this village with harmful intent towards it? I may not have liked some of the actions that happened while I was here but I wasn't going to kill anyone over it. At least I hadn't planned on it."

"Why was Naruto chosen?"

"I have complete trust in Naruto and his abilities, and he is one of the few who could provide a method of reporting that was unable to be faked or caught."

"How many people knew about this?" Kakashi asked.

"Three. Jiraiya, Naruto, and myself. In order to avoid any suspicion on Naruto, we wanted as few people to know as possible, that way there was no possible leaks."

After a few more questions it dulled down. I received a few "Good to have you backs", and a few glares from those who had been rather happy I was gone and would have likely preferred me dead, but that I was still used to receiving.

The next fews days were uneventful despite the many people who visited me. Sakura and Lee had dropped by my house which I was now in again, and Shikamaru and Ino had dropped by as well. Kakashi, Iruka, and various other people had filled up the majority of my time. It wasn't until a week after my return that the last person I still wanted to see came.

"Naruto."

"Sasuke. Well it looks like we remember who each other is so why don't you just save us both time and leave now?"

"I'm not leaving until I know why you really left in the first place."

"Because I preferred not to stay around and watch you marry Hinata."

"Why? Why did it even matter to you?"

"Because of feelings I had for you then I had chosen not to admit. Why do you even care?"

"Because I never married Hinata. Five days before when the wedding was supposed to occur we realized you'd left the village and had been determined a missing nin. After that all I could think of was you. It made me realize that maybe not everything in life was as predictable as I thought it was."

"What does any of that have to do with marrying Hinata?"

"It also made me realize that maybe my feelings weren't as predictable as I thought they were. I thought that if I ignored them, eventually they would go away. When I found out that the only chance I thought I had at seeing you again was to kill you, I realized how impossible it would be to do so."

"Then I'm glad my leaving provided you with a reality check. Are we done here yet?"

"Naruto what happened to you? You're not the same person anymore."

"People change Sasuke. And so do feelings. I just happened to have them both occur to me at once."

"Why, why are you so different?"

"Because once upon a time I loved someone more then I could and ever would love anything else. I didn't get my fairy tale ending though Sasuke, and ever though I will always have love for you, I can't love you anymore. Some broken mends can never be repaired, you just have to throw them away. That's what I did. Now if you'll excuse me, I should go meet with Tsunade. You have your answers now and you can leave me alone." Naruto said, brushing past Sasuke and disappearing a moment later.

I won't lie to the rest of you. It nearly killed me to blow Sasuke off when he tried to tell me he felt something for me, but I couldn't let myself fall into love with him again. My soul cannot take another beating like it did last time. I can expect that you're waiting for me to tell you that in the future, I run to Sasuke proclaiming my love for him and a lot of other sappy stuff. It doesn't happen.

Neither Sasuke or I ever married anyone and I never fell in love again. When Sasuke died, years upon years later, he was the last of his clan. With him died his legacy and the rest of the small heart I had left. I didn't live much longer, I can tell you that. Maybe it was because I couldn't, maybe it was just luck. Regardless of all this, someone surviving us knew. Knew that the reason I had no heart was because I gave it to Sasuke and he never returned it. For my grave lies alongside his, so if you want your happy moment, you can have it in that. I would forever be beside Uchiha Sasuke.


	22. Saved Soul

_A/N: A bit of contrast to most of my fics, this is an attempt at fluff instead of angst from me._

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

I think I could spend my entire life happily, just by watch you achieve your dreams, living life, and by just being you. You who have a heart of gold, a never-ending stream of energy that surrounds us all.The greatest gift life ever gave me, was that I would not have to spend my life watching you. Life gave me the chance to spend it with you instead. A gift from fate that I will never stop thanking her for giving me.

I truly think it was, as corny and out of character, this may seem for me - love at first sight. Something about you just drew my lonely and ignorant soul to you. I know that if you are reading this - if I ever let you - that you will be wondering why I was so hard on you for so long. My only answer? It was the only way I could talk to you. Therefore, I would annoy you because then your attention was on nobody else but me, not Sakura, or Hinata for the entire crush she had on you, but me.

I cannot believe nobody ever realized that I was in love with you - including myself. The day we kissed was... a memory I will never forget. Nobody realized that you had been sitting at the table before I sat down next to you, or that when we were glaring at each other, I could see the boy behind you about to knock you into me. Later, during the fight with Haku, I died for you. If that was not where I started to notice my feelings for you in true light, I don't know what was.

The little events that happened over the years kept me going. I was afraid of my feelings, and terrified of what you might do if you found out. You could begin to truly hate me, shun me away. You could avoid me, mock me...anything, and I think that would have destroyed my heart forever. On the other hand, what if you by some miracle, actually liked me back? Could I handle having a relationship with a boy, even if I was in love with him? What about the reaction of the villagers? Moreover, if by further miracle, we actually got together peacefully, what would stop other shinobi from using us against each other in battle?

Thankfully, you answered all those questions for me in one risky action. You kissed me again - in front of everyone. And when I kissed you back, do you remember what Sakura did and everyone else's reactions? Of course you do. Who could forget the look on my face when I heard Sakura cheering, and Kakashi mumbling about how it was about time.

The villagers - or the ones who actually mattered to us anyway, did not give a damn that we were...together. Frankly, everyone was happy for us, excluding a few girls who got jealous. You pointed out that ninja's have relationships all the time; they had been taking the risk all these years, so who could stop us - a ninja prodigy and you the future hokage.

It isn't always easy, but what relationship is? When we began living together, everyday life was sure an adventure. Me trying to get you off your "Ramen Only" diet, and you trying to get me to relax more. We did find a compromise eventually, but those first few weeks will be a sticky note on the fridge of my mind forever. Honestly, the ninja who managed to defeat the largest threat the village has ever seen, mopeing over having to eat a real meal for once.

Everyone says that I have changed. I am glad for that, and I know what the cause was - you. When you became the biggest part of my life you made me realize that by killing Itachi I would only be giving him what he wanted, and committing the same crime I wanted him dead for committing. You who amaze me with you outlook on life having had it so much harder then even I had.

You Naruto-kun saved my soul with ever trying.


	23. Spool of Thread

_A/N: Removed the A/N that took up like... half the fic... sweatdrops_  
Disclaimer: No ownie!

Leaving you was not an easy choice. The decision I made to abandon you, to leave you behind was far harder to accept then the realization that I had just betrayed my village. I could accept that I was becoming no better then my brother, but I couldn't accept the idea that I was going to cause you pain. Sakura, Kakashi, neither of them or anyone else even mattered to me but you.

You. I was supposed to hate you. It should have been one of those rivalries that lasted until one of us killed the other, but then again, if Kakashi hadn't interfered that day, you would have killed me. Our situations are so much the same, but the paths we took entirely different.

You chose light. All you want from this world is acceptance, to be acknowledged, loved and rememberd. All I ever wanted was everyone to forget I was even alive. To take all notice away from myself. But you wouldn't let that happen. Even after I betrayed you, you came after me because you were asked to. What I want to know though is, would you have come after me anyway? If nobody had asked?

But I guess the point is, is that you did come after me. You did bring me back, kicking and screaming even though you were badly injured. And after I was forced to return, you became the one who stayed with me constantly as a result of my punishment. And what amazed me - and still does is one thing.

That never once while having you as my "keeper" have I ever felt trapped. I don't understand why you put up with me, and I probably never will. I don't really understand anything about you, especially don't understand how you make me feel the way I do about you.

Love is an emotion I thought I'd lost forever a long time ago. When my parents were murdered, I threw away childhood dreams and fantasies, and with those came the hope for a happy future. And yet for some reason, I love you. I'm happy even though I know you could never return my feelings for you. I doubt the thought has ever even crossed your mind.

And you know, it honestly doesn't matter to me. I could spend (and will technically) the rest of my life chained to you and still be happy. If you marry someone - anyone, I'd be happy for you. I would.

So it was to my utter shock and amazement when on my 21st birthday you kissed me, not even caring if the result made me think of you in disgust. I guess it's a good think we'll never have to know how it could have turned out because I kissed you back. Right in front of the entire village. I didn't care who knew, and you obviously didn't. A few were shocked, some were angered, some applauded. A few fan girls even swooned I think.

So when years following that, I died, I did it peacefully. I had lived my life and I gave it up for yours. When I died I saw something I'll never forget and always be greatful for. A little spool of red thread that continued from far into the past to far into the future connecting two people.

Uzumaku Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke

Forever will we be together.


	24. Stranger

**A/N: Ok, so despite loving angst, I'm also a romantic – alternate version of Reiten.**

Ok, so maybe blowing Sasuke off was not the meeting I had always pictured. Ignoring him completely I had considered, pretending nothing ever happened had gone through my mind originally too. Now, I know just how impossible those scenarios really are. He did not marry Hinata. Not really what I expected to come back and find out, but it did not really change anything. He still nearly ruined the girl's life and betrayed me.

But whom am I kidding? What right to I have to feel betrayed? I held no more claim over Sasuke then anyone else, though a few might argue that. So, we were rivals, and maybe I am the only person who can seemingly knock sense into the boy. Why is it always me who knocks it into him? Isn't Sasuke supposed to be the perfect one? I know that is a lie. For all the Sasuke is, he is not perfect. Nobody is. But even though I know I have no right to feel that way - I still did. I still wanted to punch, kick and scream every time someone tried to win him over.

Four years of constantly hiding taught me a lot about life, it made me grow up. When I was in the Sand Village, I knew even one screw up and I would be dead. While in the other villages I could be slightly more myself, but it was only the sand village that really knew of Uzumaki Naruto. It was there I really learned to hide my feeling, and control my outbursts. I could not very well leap up and kill every person who insulted the Leaf village after all. But for the feelings I learned to hide - it did not change them at all. As much as I hated Sasuke, I still loved him, even if I did not want too.

I had been just contemplating actually getting out of bed when there was a knock on my door. Wrapping a sheet around my waist, I went to answer it.

"Coming, coming." I shouted as the knocking continued.

"Naruto."

"Sasuke. How... pleasant to see you. Is there a particular reason you've come to annoy me on this day or are you just going to bother me?" I said, watching Sasuke roll his eyes.

"Hn. Tsunade-sama wants to see you in her office."

"When?"

"As soon as you put some clothes on." He said, eyes trailing down before looking back up at me.

"I would've put clothes on if someone hadn't been so annoyingly knocking on my door at..." I said looking over at the clock on my wall "9am."

"Whatever, just be there when you're ready."

"Fine, tell her I'll be over in half an hour."

"Do I look like your messenger?"

"No, you look like Tsunade-baaba's. After all, messengers deliver messages, and you seem to have just done that."

"You're not the same person you were four years ago."

"Why do I think your not the first person to tell me that? That's right...because you are not. Four years of spying and having the people of your own village trying to kill you can do that to a person. Good-bye Sasuke." I said, closing the door.

Ok, so maybe that conversation had not been in my plans either. Actually, the way I am acting towards Sasuke was not in the plans at all. Well, I will figure this dilemma out later; I might as well see what the Old Hag wants. 'Right... though, might want to take Sasuke's suggestion and put some pants on though.' I thought when I opened the door and got quite a few odd looks.

"I want you to be the Captain of the Hunter-Nins."

"What? Why me? Why not Sasuke or Shikamaru or someone who... didn't spend the last four years avoiding these exact people."

"Because of exactly that. Who better to hunt out missing-nins then a person who had been one? Either way Naruto, you are not really getting a choice, and Shikamaru is our leading strategist. You were my last option."

"It's great to feel so loved."

"Naruto, you have been trained since you were 12 by one legendary senin; have attempted to kill another one of them and you were chosen to be the next Hokage by me. Don't say that I've never done anything for you."

"Hai, hai. So, when do I report to duty, Hag?"

"Tomorrow, oh and Naruto?"

"Hai?"

"You will be working with Sasuke, as he is the captain of the Anbu. Enjoy your day."

So, great. For those of you confused, let me summarize my life a bit for you. When I was 16, Sasuke found out he had a responsibility to marry Hinata out of his parent's request or something like that. They might have been betrothed for all I cared to find out at the time. Sasuke, for reasons still unclear with me went through with it - or as I found out when I was 20 and finally returned to the village, backed out right before. I still don't really know why.

When I found out Sasuke was doing it, I left Konoha on a mission. I went spying on the other villages, trying to learn where they stood with Konoha, and learning their techniques while I was there. I'm probably a missing nin of nearly every village now. Having just returned a day previous, I wasn't really shocked when Tsunade requested my presence, what did shock me was the promotion to Head of the Hunter-Nins sector of the ANBU. Sasuke had been the messenger, and our quick meeting hadn't gone over too well, even if he had checked me out.

So now I work with him daily. Our old rivalry has returned and our insults have climbed to an all time high. I'm not really sure why I opted to react to Sasuke how I did, but it was too late to stop now.

That is, until Sasuke stopped it for us.

"Just shut up Naruto! It was so much easier when you were gone and I could at least still wonder why you left. Now I know you left, it was a gift from Kami!"

"Wonder why I left? Why would you even care? You didn't when I was trying to tell you I was going to that's for sure."

"You never tried to tell me. You just up and left with no notice."

"Actually, I did. You told me, if I remember right - "Go away Naruto, it's too damn early and I have important things to do later."

"The day I was supposed to get married? That's when you tried to tell me? Of course I didn't pay attention! My mind was everywhere but home that day."

"What did you want, a weeks notice? I was leaving because you were getting married Sasuke, not for a joy ride."

"…You left because I was getting married? Why?"

"Why? Why not? You were my best friend, and throwing your life away to a marriage you would never commit too, ruining Hinata's by trapping her in a loveless marriage, and trying to complete to a goal I thought you'd got over years previous. Few people in this village actually matter to me Sasuke, and I wasn't about to sit around and watch the person who meant the most to me destroy part of his life."

"I wish I'd known that then. The reason I didn't get married Naruto was… because you left."

"Why? What did I have to do with your marriage?"

"A lot. One of the reasons I was going to just…"throw my life away" was because I thought I had no chance at having what I really wanted in the future. When I heard you left from Tsunade, I knew that I was doing something you didn't approve of. I canceled it in hope that maybe, just maybe the reason you didn't approve of it was because you felt the same way I did for you."

"Which is…?"

"I was in love with you." Sasuke said.

"I was in love with you." I replied.

"Tsunade wasn't the one who wanted you to return you know… I was the one who got her to make you return."

"And why was that?" I asked, hoping, and maybe knowing how he was about to reply.

"Because I'm still in love with you. Even now, four years later when you've completely changed from the Naruto I used to know."

"You know, I left because I was in love with you. And when Tsunade asked me to come back, she gave me the choice of doing so. I came back because married or not, I was still in love with you. Even after I felt like you were betraying me. And I still am in love with you."

"Well… that's…good to here. Where do we go from here?"

"Here." I said, pulling Sasuke in from where he was standing, not caring that we were in full view for anyone to see, to kiss the boy I'd loved for my whole life.


	25. Tastes of Ramen

Tastes of Ramen

'The worst thing I ever said to him, wasn't what I spoke aloud, but what I thought and was never brave enough to say. What I wasn't even brave enough to really think about and now I may never get the chance too. I could lose him forever before I even try.'

"Sasuke, go home. Sleep. If there's any change, you'll be the first one to know."

"Ne! I'm staying right here until that baka opens those pretty blue eyes of his."

"Sasuke, he may never-"

"Don't you dare say that Iruka-sensei. He's too stubborn for that, and we both know it. He's always surprising people and for once I'm going to be the one by his side, rather then the one standing behind him with the knife."

"Sasuke, just don't worry yourself sick."

"I won't."

"Demo, one question."

"Nani?"

"You love him, don't you?"

"...yes"

"Then maybe, maybe you should tell him that. They say people in comas might be able to hear what people are saying to them. And that those who are spoken to have a higher chance of coming around. He cares more for you then you think Sasuke. That day with Haku, you saved each other. It was your "death" that saved him, and it was that factor that made him angry enough to defeat Haku. That chakra of his was what actually saved you. It heals him, why not allies as well?"

"I'll try."

"Please. If anyone needs to hear that someone cares what happens to him Sasuke, it's him."

"Arigotou sensei."

"Ja Sasuke. Take care of him. He's more breakable then he lets on."

'That much is clear.' I thought, watching over Naruto on his bed. Looking toward the boy, I'd fought not to care about, convinced myself that he didn't matter to me. But him like I did, half dead, bleeding everywhere and broken... it had killed me that I wasn't there to protect him. That again I let someone harm the person that I cared about more then anyone in the world. The only one I cared about.

Looking down at Naruto, another stab of pain went through me. 'You never told me about the nine-tails seal. I'm not sure if the pain I feel is that you didn't tell me - or that you didn't tell me because you were afraid of my reaction. Who am I to feel this though? I didn't tell you about Orochimaru's seal either.'

"Naruto. I have so much to say to you baka. How am I supposed to kick your ass when its already been kicked?"

'Though it is a cute ass- Whoa! Bad Sasuke!'

"Come on Dobe! It's past time you woke up!"

But Naruto didn't wake up. Two weeks later, he was almost completely healed but still showed no sign of consciousness. Sasuke kept his word as much as he could, barely leaving Naruto except to eat and train when Kakashi could make him.

'If this keeps up, Sasuke will be joining Naruto in bed a bit sooner then we planned. Only it'll because they're both in comas.'

"You're done for the day." He spoke as his remaining two students stopped their training for the day.

"And Sasuke," He called to the boy already leaping off in the direction of Naruto. "Try and get some sleep." Kakashi said to Sasuke. Sasuke looked horrible. Unkempt and like he hadn't slept or ate for a few days. And truthfully, he hadn't.

"He's doing enough sleeping for the both of us."

It was a frustrated Sasuke yelling at everyone later that night.

"Why isn't the baka waking up!"

"Sasuke. maybe-" Kakashi began.

"What?"

"Maybe Naruto doesn't think he has a reason to wake up." Iruka said, walking into the room. Looking over at Kakashi who nodded before leaving.

"Nani?"

"Naruto, he would be the kind of person who wouldn't want to wake up to a world where he thinks no people care about him, he wouldn't want to bother people even more then he thinks he already does."

"But, lots of people do! Sakura, Konohoumaru, Kakashi-sensei, Hinata, Tsunade-sama, I do."

"We know that Sasuke. But does Naruto? Everyone spends more time yelling at him, talking about him, then telling him that he actually does matter to some of us."

"Hai."

"Tell him Sasuke. Tell him before you never DO get the chance too."

"That's the second time you've told me to do that."

"And maybe for once you'll indulge your old teacher. Take my advice Sasuke. If you don't you'll regret it for the rest of your life." He said, walking out of the room.

'Damn it. Baka sensei. Why do they always tell you exactly what you want to hear but never want to listen to? Fine. And then I can at least tell Iruka-sensei I tried and nothing happened.'

But looking at him was what made it all the more easy and difficult at once. Still a bit beaten up looking he looked a tad pathetic. Suffering was not Naruto's look. He deserved to be happy. And happiness was not something I'd bring to his life.

"Sasuke! No! Leave him alone!" Naruto suddenly cried out. It shook me. The pain in desperation in his voice was enough to send any person to their knees. I looked around me to see if anyone was there. It was a stupid action considering I was in Naruto's house meaning everyone had long left. Most people had stopped coming around to check on him more then once a week.

"Naruto! You baka! If you died, I would've never gotten to fight you! I am the only one allowed to kick your sorry ass and get away with it! I don't know what's worse, that if you'd died I'd be lost, or that I'll be lost because you died. If you died, whom am I supposed to train with? Sakura? I'd end up flying away because there was nobody around to deflate my ego. And if you weren't around, I wouldn't have to train so hard to be better then you. I need you Naruto. Nobody else. You. I guess I'll take the Kyuubi too since it seems to be a package deal when it comes to you. And-" I trailed off as I notice Naruto's eyes were open and staring back into my own.

"You." cough "didn't have to stop there. It was just getting good."

"Naruto!" I said, jumping up from the chair beside his bed. "You're awake!"

"How long was I asleep?"

"About 2 months."

"Kusoooo, that's a lot of training. But that was a very long nap. And I'm hungry."

"Dobe. You would only care about your stomach."

"Ne. I care about more then that. Training, ramen, becoming Hokage, you, kicking your ass-"

'Hey wait, did he just say?'

"What did you just say?" I said, interrupting him.

"Kicking your ass?"

"Before that you baka!"

"Oh. You I suppose." He said simply.

"Now who's the baka? Hai, I do. a lot."

"Naruto, I..."

"Ne, I don't expect you to care-"

"BAKA!" I shouted, Naruto jumped about a foot at my sudden shouting.

"I just told you. I spent the last 2 months of my life taking care of you and you think I don't care? Naruto you baka I lo-"

But Naruto pulling me down on top of him on the bed, and to my further shock - kissing me interrupted me in my speech.

And all I could think of was - 'Hn. Even after two months, he still tastes like ramen.'


	26. Tears

Sadness not something people look forward to. Nevertheless, tears, tears in a way they do. Tears of sadness come before you're happy again. Tears can be of joy. That you are so moved, so happy that one can't help but wonder why you were chosen to be blessed with this gift.

Rain has been thought of as the heaven's cries, their tears of misery. However, those same tears bring water to this land. Water, which gives a drink to the very food, which keeps us alive.

Rainbows, one of the world's most beautiful phenomenon only come after the heavens has shed their tears. Therefore, while tears can be a miserable thing, in a way, they're worth look forward too. Because it's only after them that, something wonderful is bound to happen.


	27. To Sleep and Dream

_A/N: Just spacing. ._  
Disclaimer: I own naught but sad little angst filled fics about Naruto.

'Sleep is often when the most is revealed. The expression on one's face when they are in the deepest and most peaceful of sleeps is. angelic in the least. It was watching him sleep that I first started to realize I felt more then I should for another teammate. More then the loyalty and trust, more then the hatred.

The first time I saw my name escape his mouth while he was sleeping I realized I wasn't the only one playing a part. But it was my dreams that told me last. That I loved this boy. A boy I could never be with. Never share a feeling, nary more then a thought with him of any of it. I would be putting him at the risk of feeling as I do each day. I'd rather he be with... Sakura, though it'll crush me when it does - and it shall - then that.

But there are a few places where I don't have to accept this truth. In our sleep. For in his sleep, I can watch and see him. Hear his whispers of meaningless phrases. And in my own dreams where the past never took place. Therefore, even without him in my arms, he'll be in my heart. My dreams. Everyday is worthwhile because it's one day closer to the next time I can watch vigil over his sleep. Until then, it's my own. I'll sleep, sleep, and maybe even dream of days that'll never exist.'


	28. Wabibito

_A/N: Not quite a poem, written and intended to be word play. Naruto's PoV on life and Sasuke._  
Disclaimer: Kami, on just how many of my fics did I forget to add one of these? No.

Wabibito "Unwanted Person"

I'm not wanted here.  
Not needed.  
But I'm trapped here for eternity.  
My wishing star long burned out.   
Giving up before it started.  
They look at me and whisper words.  
Knowing I can hear them just the same.  
They look to he who cares no more.  
And I look to he as never before.  
Seeing what they never do.  
The true emotions beyond the wall.  
Lost among the many days.  
Vengeance only playing a record track skipping on the mind.  
A heart trying to show it's there.  
Mouth speaking no real words.  
Eyes locking in a silent prayer.  
Prayers of a million unshed actions, thoughts, and words.  
Maybe I'm needed here after all.  
Just for him.


	29. All I Live For

Title: All I Live For

Category: Angst, Slightly One-Sided Narusasu

Rating: PG

Author's Note: Just a short thing I wrote while repairing my old fic Tsurai. I'd recently read a fic which made me feel very deeply for the characters already that I was compelled to write something myself.

Years change everyone. For years I hated Sasuke, and then for years I trained and worked together with him as a team. Over those years we became more then just rivals, more then just best friends. There was something between us then, something undeniably different then either of us had ever felt for another person. When we fought it was always filled with energy that was more then just the need to beat each other, there was passion. The final time we fought for three years was no different then that, but even then - then when Sasuke was betraying more then just his village, he could not truly defeat me. Even for his dreams and his power he could not kill me. Just as three years later when the time came and I was too late, I couldn't kill Sasuke to destroy Orochimaru.

And so I gave up nearly everything to seal Orochimaru within Sasuke. It was a seal much like mine with the Kyuubi. I suppose that had I been any other person doing the seal, I too would have died from it. And just as I saved Sasuke that day, he saved me.

"Don't you dare leave me! Live, live if only for me." Were the words I heard that day. The words with which I clung onto the remaining strands of my life and refused to give into the peace that meant death.

Over the next few years I came to accept that the charge I always felt when Sasuke was around was love. Pure, untainted and unbreakable. Loving Sasuke was and never would be something that was easy. Sasuke was no different most of the time then how he had been when I first met him. He was cold, unreadable and as always beauty in perfection that few would ever even glimpse at.

The years changed us more as Sasuke continued to train, to fight and to prepare for the battle that he lived his life for. With him as I always did, I trained for goals so very different then his. I continued to push him to points that he would not have reached otherwise as he did with me. The love was there still yet we both continued to ignore that it was there. I would never mention it to him because the plaguing memory of the other goals he had remained in my mind to taunt me.

When you defeated Itachi, I was there by your side as I had been for all the years previous. You'll eventually continue with the rest of your goals and then I will break. But until that say I will remain here by your side because truly, that is all I live for.


	30. Saying Nothing

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Just something I typed out to get myself on the ball with writing fanfics and into the Sasuke/Naruto mindset again.

Pairing: Sasuke/Naruto

Title: Saying Nothing

There was a single time of day when Konoha seemed almost impossibly silent. It was now, on the edge between day and night that the village revealed it's deepest secrets. Secrets like one boy who had grown up far to fast sitting on the ledge of a monument whose face was the parent the boy would never know. Secrets like the pale avenger who stood watching the boy he loved from a distance, as he always had.

The two knew more about each other then few would ever understand and even among those who did, truly accept. For only Sasuke could really see how much of a mask Naruto wore to hide from the world his damaged soul, and only Naruto could see how much Sasuke cried out for someone to actually see beyond the pretty avenger.

Though neither had even admitted it, both knew the other shared the feelings they harbored. Too afraid though of a rejection that wouldn't come, they didn't speak out. Didn't embrace the chance they had to heal each other's wounded souls. That is, until one day it just happened.

Sasuke really didn't know how often he had just sat here on his roof watching Naruto. At first before he had begun to understand Naruto, he didn't see how the ninja could remain still for so long, be silent for such a stretch in time, be so out of personality. But it was now that Sasuke understood that it wasn't this Naruto who gazed out over Konoha without really seeing anything that was out of character, it was the Naruto who played a fool everyday that did.

It was here that Sasuke first began to put the smallest clues together that Naruto was anything but a fool. The quick intelligence that Naruto seemed to show during battle, the unimaginable power that he could so easily tame, the skill he showed at learning jutsu. It all caused Sasuke to recall the fact that Naruto had stayed behind at the academy for three years before graduating with himself and Sakura. Here when he began to finally try and understand what it must have been like for Naruto to be failed at everything he did no matter how hard he tried.

It was these moments that even though Sasuke was halfway across Konoha that he began to read the meaning Naruto tried to keep hidden behind his eyes. It was after the first few times that Sasuke realized Naruto had a tradition every morning of waking up before dawn, training himself to exhaustion and then watching the sun rise over Konoha that Sasuke began to follow him. It was while watching Naruto simply grin that fake smile of his and continue his day at every insult thrown his way that Sasuke saw the cracks in his mask. Even began to actually see the mask. Sasuke began to understand that Naruto played a fool so that their word would merely bounce off him. Naruto acted like a fool so that his power would not be mistaken for the Kyuubi's. Used his idiocy to fool people into doubting his abilities before using it to overwhelm them and destroy. Used that idiocy of his as a kind of kindness to those who needed it more then anything else.

And it was from the other side of the village, seeing everything while looking at nothing that Naruto first began to understand Sasuke. It was here in those moments that Naruto began to try and understand why Sasuke was so cold, why he was such a bastard to everyone… why even though regardless of all this Naruto and him still remained best friends and unable to kill each other completely. Here it was that Naruto began to understand why Sasuke felt the need for vengeance so bad that he would nearly become what he hated most. But he also saw the Sasuke that few people really did. The Sasuke that would risk his life for his teammate, the Sasuke that would train endlessly with nobody but Naruto himself… the Sasuke that knew Naruto was the kyuubi and couldn't care less except for the fact that it put Naruto on an even level with the Sharingan. Naruto could see everything that Sasuke never wanted to show people but always cried out to be heard about.

So when finally the day came that Sasuke began to sit with Naruto looking out over nothing, neither said anything. When the chance came after that that Naruto came to get Sasuke in his morning training, nothing was said still. And as those days past and they simply saved time by staying at one or the other's house, room and then bed, they still said nothing.

That's what they would tell you about their relationship if you asked. Nothing. Because truly, that's what their relationship was based on. Saying nothing.


	31. That's Why

**Title: That's Why**

**Pairing: None really, but Naruto and Sasuke central. Sasunaru if you squint sideways and read between the lines, but can be taken as friendship.**

**Note: It's been quite awhile since I've caught up on Naruto or written, so my apologises for any incorrect facts. If you tell what's wrong and how to fix it, I'd gladly go about it! Also, I still don't own Naruto.  
**

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Looking at the picture of Team Seven on his nightstand, Naruto noticed that they all looked... happy. At that moment captured in time, it wasn't about proving to the village that he would one day be worthy of being the Hokage, or about getting vengeance for a murdered family, or even winning the love of a boy who'd forgotten what love was. It was just about the three of them and Sensei celebrating the 100th mission together as a team. That had been a good day, and even Sasuke had grudgingly smiled at one point in time. Naruto wanted to see that smile on Sasuke more often, so maybe that was the real reason why he wanted to bring Sasuke back to Konoha. He wanted them all to smile more often like that.

It wasn't that Sai wasn't a good teammate, because as weird as he could be, Sai was a good teammate. Or he was learning how to be at least. It also because Yamato wasn't a good Sensei, or that he taught them any better then Kakashi, because if anything at times he was better. But that wasn't the real Team Seven. Yamato wasn't the teacher who had taught them all the true meaning of being a team together, or been the one who had made Sasuke, Sakura and himself realize that being strong or being the best didn't mean you didn't need anyone else. But Naruto thought that maybe Sasuke hadn't learned that lesson well enough given that he'd left Konoha to learn from Orochimaru, so maybe the reason Naruto wanted to being Sasuke back was so he could teach him that lesson a little better.

It also could've been the fact that Sasuke was one of the only people who really saw Naruto as Naruto rather then a monster, but that couldn't have been it either. Every day the village was a little less cold and a little more welcoming to him. Naruto had more friends then he could even keep count of these days. People who would have his back if he needed them to and actually listen to him when he spoke. So it couldn't have been that, but there was still the fact that Sasuke was the only person Naruto had never really defeated, so it could've been that. Maybe he just wanted to teach Sasuke that you didn't have to betray your village to become stronger. Naruto had done just fine without that.

Naruto wasn't even sure he really knew who Sasuke was anymore either. Team Seven had been together for less time then it had been since Sasuke had betrayed Konoha. But then, Naruto thought that maybe he knew Sasuke better then most, despite the time that had passed since they'd been friends. Maybe it was because they were both orphans, despite their vastly different upbringings. He thought that perhaps it was more then that though, it seemed to be more that Naruto and Sasuke were just such opposites that they needed each other. Where Naruto was Sunlight and joy and energy, Sasuke was Moonlight and pensiveness and refinement. Sasuke needed Naruto to be reminded of the reasons why to enjoy life, and Naruto needed Sasuke to be reminded that it is ok somethings to say what you're really feeling rather then just pretending everything is ok all the time. Sasuke balanced out Naruto's ever-refilling mass of energy.

He wasn't really sure why Sasuke hadn't already returned anyway. He'd left Konoha to become stronger and to avenge his clan. Itachi was dead, so why hadn't Sasuke returned? But then, Sasuke seemed to have it out for the entire village now, but that didn't make sense either. Even if the council or the elders had done something stupid, it wasn't the entire village's fault. Tsunade was the Hokage now anyway, so Naruto was sure that whatever stupid thing the village had done she would explain. Why did Sasuke feel the need to punish the entire village for something a few old men had ordered? Why was Sasuke always caught up in getting vengeance anyway? Naruto thought that maybe he wanted to bring Sasuke back to explain this to him. Somebody sure needed to slap him upside the head and make Sasuke see that he was still just a pawn in other people's plans, and Naruto was pretty sure that Sasuke wouldn't like that idea.

But as Naruto stared into Sasuke's eyes from across the field, he thought that it was maybe all these reasons, and so many more. Naruto liked having Sasuke around, he enjoyed it when the two of them beat each other to pieces and liked that Sasuke was the person who pushed Naruto to be even better then anyone else thought he could be. So eventually when Sasuke did ask Naruto why after they head beaten each other down and both lay collapsed on the ground, not knowing if they'd even actually get up again, these were the reasons he said.

Sasuke had eventually turned his head and looked Naruto in his eyes. Naruto thought that maybe Sasuke had given a nod of his head, and said ok, but the blood running between his eyes made it difficult to see. That sounded like Sakura shouting their names, and looked like Kakashi's crazy hair, so Naruto just smiled.

Everything would be ok now.


End file.
